1. Courage runs through his veins

June 21st '25

Jayden sat in his desk, quieter than usual. Ilya, Jayden were assigned a class project together, which meant hell on Ilya's part. Jayden's harsh words used to cut through Ilya's skin down to the core and leave cracks all over his heart, little by little. 

Today is different. This year has been different, actually. Jayden's quiter. But scarier. Like a volcano waiting to burst at any moment. Ilya's concerned face betrayed him. “What?” barked Jayden between grated teeth. “What? N-nothing...” stuttered Ilya nervously. His skin burned with terror as he expected the lava to erupt. 

But it didn't. Jayden's piercing gaze washed over Ilya's presence and went back to his side of the project, like the awkward dialogue wasn't of interest.

“A-are you okay?” 

“Bitch, what do you want?” 

“I just wanted to make sure you're okay...” 

“Great as always.” Jayden's sarcastic response rubbed Ilya the wrong way. “If your life's so bad, why don't you just end it?” he snapped. 

Took only a few unprocessed seconds for Jayden to glide his pair of scissors towards the other boy's desk and roll up his uniform's sleeves, presenting his wrists like an invitation. 

“I'm too scared to do it on my own.” he declared, maintaining eye contact. 

With that, Ilya parted the two blades, threatening Jayden with a striking glare. He held onto his wrist so tight, the pressure gave Jayden a headache, although without flinching he watched Ilya's trembling hand approach his veins and close the gap of air between the blade and Jayden's skin.

That's when he noticed.

Dark toned lines crossing his arm all the way to the top, hundreds of them. ”I can't do this”

Jayden scoffed. “Thought so”

2. Mom is missing

June 21st '25

“I hate my mom. I hate her for leaving me. I hate her for neglecting me. I hate her for being so harsh. And I hate her for not picking up her phone when I needed her the most. 

But I miss her. I need her like I'm two and learning how to walk again. I need her like I'm seven and I'm scared about my first day of school. I miss her at fourteen when I was allocated to a foster home. I want her back in my life, although I'm not ready to forgive her yet. I need her to be by my side.”

His uncontrollable tears run down his cheeks and stain the living room carpet. 

Jayden's here, pouring his heart out in front of him, being the most vulnerable he's ever been with someone. And he chose Ilya for this moment. This doesn't feel right. Ilya doesn't know what to say, so he just opens his arms and closes them around Jayden's torso. 

Jayden accepts the embrace and wraps his arms around Ilya's neck. Sobbing loudly on his shoulder. 

3. Dead girl call

June 28th '25

Jayden's phone lit up. It's the middle of the night, for fuck's sake, who calls at these hours of the night?

Through static noise sounds out a name

“Jayden...”

He freezes. This can't be. That voice...

“Is this some kind of sick joke? The girl is dead, let her rest in fucking peace!”

“That's not true! I'm alive!” 

“Shut up! You're lying! I-I was there. I was there when they lowered her casket and I was there when they buried her. I saw everything.” Jayden shouts out, crying.

“But you didn't see the body, did you?”

He chokes on his own tears at the realisation.

“what?” a barely whisper.

“You never got to see the body because I wasn't in there.”

And with that, he hangs up the phone. What the fuck does that mean? He's trembling in fear. The body wasn't there? 

Jayden was late to the funeral. They already screwed shut the casket by the time he got there. He blames himself for never getting to hug her goodbye and for never seeing her face for the last time he ever could. He blames himself for her death and for— the doorbell rang and replaced Jayden's guilt with terror. Don't be stupid, it can't be her. She's dead, rotting in a hole. 

He slowly drags his limbs out of bed and steps up to the front door as quietly as possible. It's immature to believe in the undead or ghosts, but whoever it might be has got to have something in common with that phone call earlier. 

The doorbell rings again, impatient. 

Jayden's hands shake uncontrollably as he presses down the doorknob and creaks the entryway open. 

He shrieks as he recognises the human.

Incomprehensible sounds come out of his mouth meanwhile the person endorses him in a 

hug.

“E-Erys...” 

His tears stain her shoulder and her tears stain his.

It's a cold embrace. Like she's actually dead, and so is he. 

“Where the fuck have you been, Erys?” his voice shaky, scared and relieved and surprisingly angry. 

Her hand pats the back of his head gently. “I'm sorry, Jayd.” 

“Yeah, you better be! I needed you, Erys. I needed you and you disappeared, and the worst part is that you just checked out. No note, no message, no call, no nothing! And I knew you were in a bad state of mind and I knew you were suicidal and yet I didn't help you at all! Might as have driven you over the edge—” 

Erys pushed Jayden a bit farther to see his face. His eyes and the scars and pains his tears shield. 

“what does that...” “— the last time we talked...” he continues, hiccuping in between phrases. “Fuck! do you even remember the last time we talked? 'Cause I fucking do... I remember every word. Over these past two years I've been obsessing.... over that conversation every. single. moment... of my pathetic life, over and over, searching for something.... something that could have saved you! Something I've missed— a clue, or, or maybe a conversation I have forgotten or maybe I didn't pay... attention 'cause maybe I didn't fucking deserve you!”

His voice cracks at the last sentence. The genuine sadness in his voice sounding unbearable. Like nails scratching a chalk board. 

“Jayden... I never deserved you. I ruined you! I- I got you addicted to drugs and-and because of me you lived in misery all this time ever since we've met— I didn't want to hurt you anymore. We were toxic for each other and you know that! But I loved you to bits— bloody hell —I still love you! I still love and care about you, Jayd, and I'm extremely sorry for any pain I've caused you and I wish for a redo, or if you could forgive me at least. So, that's why...”

Erys slides down his body and falls onto her knees, looking up at his teary eyes.

“... that's why... Please.... Forgive me!”

Jayden crumbles down in front of her, weeping harder than before. Erys' words bit him like a shark and devoured him whole. He can't believe what is happening. In the span of fifteen minutes he found out the person he loves the most in this world is alive, and now she's asking for his forgiveness? 

“I'm... I'M SORRY!” he cries aloud. Both of them a sobbing mess. She crawls near him, holding his head to her heaving chest. They lay like this as they both let out all of their energy and fall asleep together.