I'm currently procrastinating...unhinged but real procrastination busters

1. Lie to your brain. Tell it you'll only work for 2 minutes.

It’ll fall for it. Every. Single. Time.

Dopamine likes starting, not finishing. Trick it into the start, and momentum does the rest.

2. Wear shoes. Indoors.

Your brain associates shoes with “leaving the cave to do something.”

Cognitive gear-switching, baby. Suddenly you’re not in bed—you’re in mission mode.

3. Chew gum like you’re being watched.

Studies show chewing boosts alertness and blood flow to the brain.

Bonus if it’s minty = faux danger = brain goes "?? we must survive??"

4. Open a doc and change the font to Comic Sans.

It looks so dumb your brain lowers its perfectionist filter and just starts writing.

Ugly font = less anxiety = more output. (Real science.)

5. Blast a movie soundtrack.

Not lyrics—just cinematic doom energy.

Your brain will act like you’re solving a national crisis instead of replying to emails.

YOU AIN'T LAZY YOU JUST UNSTIMULATED QUEEN / KING / MONARCH