red roses

The kisses you left on my delicate skin turned into bitter scars of resentment.

 I wish you had clawed out my eyes while you were at it, 

because I wish you had every single time I look at photos of you. 

The only thing I have left of you and I can’t even look at them.

I've always thought red was such a lovely and romantic colour. 

Your favourite colour is the colour of roses. 

I was seduced by all the lovely red flags you strewn about like roses on a plain field.

You could’ve killed me and I would have let you.

Everything reminds me of you, which I despise. 

You serve as a stinging reminder of how I once abandoned my morals. 

To never to fall in love It was my safety net, 

the one thing I knew I could rely on at all times.

I tore myself apart and left my heart exposed to you only so you could break it.

I wouldn't have cared because red is such a lovely colour.

It used to be so lovely, but now it's the colour of blood and deception. 

I'm not sure where to begin to express how much you've influenced me.

How much you hurt me. Poisoned me.

You took my breath away in such a way that I suffocated.

I fell so hard for you, I died on impact.

The butterflies that were once comforting and fuzzy;

Have become a lethal infestation.

I wish that I could pick up the pieces of my broken heart

And stab you till you can no longer move.

I wish I could insult you.

Degrade you.

Scream at you until my throat becomes hoarse.

I wish I could wake up.

Have this nightmare end.

Have the fucking dream back.

I wish that I could feel bad.

Feel something other than pain.

I wish I could hate you.

…

Yet my heart yearns for you.

You, who broke it.

Its pieces seek your words and touch to mend them.

My mind searches for you, it drifts away.

Always looking.

Hoping like a fool.

As the days go by, I just can’t help but cry.

I would rather die than be without you again.

This road has no end,

I could really use a friend.

But I just lost my best friend.