summertime

06/27/25

the weather is piping hot! i love it! i love summer

schools out for the summer of course, this is my final summer break before i graduate high school...gulp

i should be studying for my permit test...i still have yet to even sit in the drivers seat. i fear i have anxiety regarding driving which i have no idea how to overcome

this entire first month i trudged through a summer school online course i signed myself up for in order to get ahead for senior year. government and economics :-P i finally finished it a couple of days ago, leaving me completely free! speaking of school i decided to sign up for link crew and somehow was accepted which im 50/50 about because it means i'll reaaaally have to be out there socially and attend events and meetings and all that jazz. just got a pit in my stomach thinking about that LOL. and to my left on my whiteboard i have the event dates stuck up with a magnet HAHA ...literally haunting me..my choices...are haunting me LMAOO

 at least i've made two friends who are also in it that i should be able to hang around...but i cant depend on that. if you dont know what link crew is, its a group of upperclassmen who welcome the freshmen, and help them around...show them around...apparently we're going to have to lead groups of them in games and things...

i have been indulging in love island and i have no shame. recently i've been seeing slander towards viewers of it and it's so ridiculous how those people are so pretentious. i also finished the final season of squid games which hurt, for a lot of reasons of course but mostly because i feel like i've shut the door to such a fun era of life. i know i'll feel this tenfold when i watch the end of stranger things soon!!!! 

i've done some fun shopping this summer, and i went to the beach with my friend. i didn't read anything this entire month up until like two days ago which sucks! but the gov & econ work was so taxing, and i made it a routine of working on that all day and then watching love island before knocking out...

but now i have all the free time in the world and im cherishing it, because next summer i'll be eighteen with so much weight on my shoulders. whether or not i'll be attending college, driving, employment...scary

and you know, im grateful because others do not have it like me. i got pressed by a freshmen before the end of my junior year as to why i don't have a job PFFTT FAWK...and she went and told me how her sibling got one when they were younger than her

and that made me think about me now, and in the future. how i'm beyond lucky to have a family that doesn't want me to work now because i dont need to, doesn't pressure me about anything...only supporting me in whatever it is i want to do...does that make sense? i suck at articulating things

so i mentioned i finally got back into reading a couple of days ago! i've taken on babel by rf kuang which is sooo good so far, and five survive by holly jackson. let me tell you...im struggling so hard trying not to dnf five survive :-( the premise is so good and grounds for such a yummy story but oh my goodness it's just not working. i could go on with my critiques of it but im growing tired of typing

i've also been writing more, yay! good responses to my silly little fics are so fulfilling. and speaking of writing, i have a penpal from taiwan who i've been swapping letters with for almost 4 months now and she's so sweet i'd sob if i found out it was some greasy old dude...but you never know...now im scaring myself. anyway

im disappointed in myself for how high my screentime on short-form platforms has risen lately. sooo many hours wasted. literal addiction. and on top of that the obligation to respond to posts sent by friends keeps me glued as well...every time i repost a video on tiktok i feel somewhat upset with myself, and every time i see a stupid bigoted video online i get upset and wonder why i just wont delete the dang app

so much negativity but it seems like we all feed off of it. because then i wonder to the people on my side against the bigots in the comments, why are you fueling this? stop paying it any mind!! i dunno. i have a lot of thoughts i should save for some paper...and i just recently bought a BT21 pen from daiso so why not put that thang to useee

lastly, that one blog post where i confessed my hatred of petit block because i couldnt build them with my nails no longer applies because...i finally built both of the cats! i finally got my acrylics off and built both as i watched a vanillamace vod. awesome!

toodles internet void