: the introduction - my story:

i used to think i was the boss of my body, my food, and how people saw me. like, i was in control. but then middle school hit and the world stopped feeling soft and safe. i realized something ugly - not everyone’s gonna respect you or treat you nice just ’cause you exist, not everyone thinks you’re beautiful, even if you’re different in a unique way.

so i thought, maybe if i made myself look “right” - prettier, thinner, more put together - i could shut up the gnawing feeling inside telling me that i wasn’t enough. so i started eating way less than i supposed and like to force myself to do like 2,000 to 8,000 steps a day on a treadmill that faced a wall without any sunlight.

looking back? it was obvious i wasn’t chasing health, i was obviously seeking for something way deeper: wholeness and i just didn’t know it. i was looking for a cliché to feel what it really was like to feel wanted. to belong. to feel seen. to feel safe. to feel loved. appreciated.

here’s the thing - love doesn’t live in mirrors. even with the little joys - like stepping on and off the mill cuz i got to listen nicki minaj for two hours, or trying new recipes - my heart still ached. love doesn’t come from how low or high your weight is on the scale or how fast the chub on your cheeks are shrinking. “God is love” (1 john 4:16), so without Him, everything else falls flat.

that’s so easy to forget without God .. even when you’re a believer, it’s easy to lose your identity in Him and start believing lies about your beauty, your value, your identity. carrying labels that were never yours. “for they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served what has been created instead of the Creator” (romans 1:25). but:

even when i wandered like an israelite in numbers 15 - lost, tired, and unsure what promise i was walking toward - God never left me.

even when i didn’t invite Him in. even when my faith was shaky; not just faith in Him, but faith in why i was the way i was.

but He gently peeled back my layers - the ones messed up by shame, neglect, and pressure .. just like isaiah 42:3 says, and started restoring me. not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. all part of being born again by the Spirit (john 3:3-8), made new from the inside out.

and yeah, sometimes i still slip and fall.

sometimes i still catch myself staring in the mirror way too long.

but healing isn’t about control.

it’s about trust and it's about surrender.

when i was reading john the first week of june, God kept pulling me back to this:

“trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (proverbs 3:5-6).

i hope and pray to God that this piece doesn’t just expose the false promises of health culture - but speaks to those who are afraid to eat bread, or feel like they have to earn every bite of it. to those lifting just to prove something. those ones who feel like their body has to earn them a seat at the table.

i’m also writing for the ones deep in it, the ones healing from it, the ones who don’t even realize they’re caught in it - and even the ones trying to brush it off as they read.

this substack article is for anyone who’s ever felt like “healthy” became a heavy chain instead of real freedom .. because health isn’t about vanity, it’s about honoring the body as a temple of God. in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight and the submission in this starts with your body, your cravings, and your food choices to God.

1: why health culture makes me feel some type of way:

health portrayed online these days makes me deeply uncomfortable and it’s not that i’m against health.

i love knowing i’m stewarding the temple God gave me with care and intention. but what people are calling “health” now? i don’t endorse it.

a lot of it is fear wrapped in a "fittok" algorithm. it’s pride hiding behind “discipline” and obsession baptized as “grind.”

i’ve lived that story. i remember the joy (keyword: joy) when someone said, “you lost weight!”

but inside, i was freezing, empty, and more insecure than ever.

at fifteen, i was starving myself in the name of “health.” chicken burritos and protein powder rice krispie treats were my weapons of control.

i really thought i was doing it right.

i thought i was glowing up.

but in reality, my soul was starving also and i didn’t even know it.

culture called it “healthy.”

instagram said it was “discipline.”

but no one talked about the cost.

no one warned me about the bloating, the anxiety, the acid reflux, the hormonal imbalance. science now says that those high-protein, low-carb extremes destroy your gut. and teens? that bodies are supposed to be growing? that isn’t healthy for us at all.

we need sleep, not creatine. we need healing, not hustling. waking up at 4am to “grind” might look cool online, but it’s killing the joy God meant for you to have in your youth. i’m starting to notice that this obsession with “optimization” and “improvement” has become a false gospel that puts the body (and people’s egos) at the center instead of God.

the scariest part is that people have started treating their bodies like science projects instead of sacred.

we treat our flesh like it’s something to fix, hack, or control. but 1 corinthians 6:19 says your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, not a machine to be optimized .. so when you chase control instead of surrender, you end up wrecking the very thing God gave you to dwell in.

the gym has become a chapel, the mirror becomes a judge, and your identity gets wrapped up in how “strong” you look instead of how free you feel. and that’s where the enemy traps us. he offers control as comfort. discipline as distraction. we end up chasing perfection because we think it will heal us - but it won’t. romans 8:6 says “the mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” and we’re dying inside trying to govern ourselves with flesh.

but real health .. the kind God designed .. is not about obsession or control. it’s about rhythm. peace. surrender. it’s about honoring your temple, not dominating it.

romans 12:1: to offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. not sculpted to perfection. not optimized. offered. surrendered. that’s what pleases Him.

and i, we need that kind of health. not the kind that makes us miserable for the sake of a compliment. not the kind that robs my joy in exchange for smaller jeans. i want the kind of health that makes me crave Jesus more than a bigger butt.

so yes, it’s okay to want to be strong. it’s good to move your body, to eat well, to steward your temple. but don’t confuse stewardship with slavery. don’t let a lie about “self-improvement” pull you out of grace and back into bondage. galatians 5:1 says “it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” even if that slavery is dressed up in gym clothes.

you don’t have to earn rest.

you don’t have to earn beauty.

you already have worth.

you already belong.

2: the cost of what it’s really doing to this generation:

it’s flashy. it’s loud. it promises confidence, control, and validation. but what they don’t show you is the aftermath - the cost. and there’s always a cost.

first off - them gut issues. acid reflux, bloating, indigestion that feels like your body is at war with itself. and for what? because you’re only eating “clean”? because you’re fasting until your vision gets blurry? some of these people are too deep in the fitness rabbit hole to hear it. see, when you starve your body for the sake of an aesthetic, you’re not just losing fat - you’re losing function. you’re destroying the very system God fearfully and wonderfully knit together in your mother’s womb (psalm 139:13–14).

studies show that disordered eating patterns, including excessive fasting and restrictive diets, can significantly disrupt gut health and are linked to a higher risk of gastrointestinal diseases, including colon cancer. research highlights how chronic under-eating alters the gut microbiome, increases inflammation, and impairs digestion over time. even in people who appear healthy or fit on the outside, these internal imbalances can silently progress. experts emphasize that sustainable nourishment .. not extreme control .. is essential for long-term digestive and overall health.

see, the body isn’t just this machine you can hack endlessly without breaking something. it’s sacred - super sacred it was never designed for punishment. it was created for glory - to host the Spirit of the Living God. “do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit … you are not your own, you were bought with a price. therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 corinthians 6:19-20)

but as humans, we don’t meditate on it as much as we should. we worship thinness. we idolize abs. we trade shalom for shredded. and somewhere along the way, we start believing that skinny = holy. that self-control = spiritual. but galatians 3:3 says, “after beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?” we start off wanting to steward our bodies - but end up in slavery to them.

God didn’t call us to that kind of striving. matthew 11:28 - “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest.” you won’t find that rest in the gym. not if you’re using the gym to avoid yourself - and especially if you're talking creatine lol.

going to the gym even when deep down you don't feel like it screams out performance more than passion and that line starts to thin out more and more as they start going more. real health; God’s health? it’s rooted in peace. it’s slow, gentle, unforced. it builds you up - it doesn’t wear you out or exhausted you nor do you have to be on a chemical compound high to feel like doing it.

the journey with health shouldn't be primarily focused on the body - it’s about wholeness and honoring God, echoing the trinity in your own triune being; your body, mind, and spirit - in rhythm, in grace and in truth.

ask yourself: what am i really running from? what am i trying to earn? who told me i had to be smaller to be valuable? who sold me the lie that holiness looks like hunger? because the enemy doesn’t care if you eat too much or too little - as long as you’re distracted, drained, and doubting God’s love for you, his deception is being done.

and honestly? i’d rather have joy in my belly and peace in my bones than a six-pack with a soul falling apart. i’d rather be soft and safe in the arms of God than hard and hollow in the arms of culture. give me grace over grind. fullness over fear. a little belly and a whole lot of Jesus.

3: true temple care - how to eat, move, and live with God:

our bodies are Gods' - each and every single one of them.

the goal here is to want to say, “yes to caring for the body, but no to the obsession with it.”

i’m not glorifying God if i’m crying because i've exceeded the amount of marcos i was supposed to eat .. for the last couple of days.

i’m not glorifying God if my joy is in losing four pounds in one week.

i’m not glorifying God if my health routine makes me forget grace.

so here’s where i landed:

i want my body to be a place of peace, not performance.

3b: grocery stores & food wisdom:

we’re not out here to live in fear of food. but we also don’t want to live on candy and french fries forever.

i believe in clean eating .. not restrictive (all the time), but redemptive. eating clean means being more intentional, grateful, and honoring the natural.

here are some suggestions for food stores that do just that:

1. whole foods: high-quality, organic, european-style items. wild-caught fish, grass-fed beef. yes, it’s expensive. no, it’s not always realistic. but sometimes? it be soworth it.
2. sprouts: more affordable, still packed with organics. daily run spot.
3. local farmer’s markets & co-ops: the goldmine for good food with real people, real produce, real honey, real meat - real anointing
4. thrive market (online): pantry staples, teas, supplements, nontoxic cleaning products. delivered. subscription-based, but heaven-sent.

before purchasing, double-check and make sure it’s:

• usda organic – means no pesticides, no gmos, no nonsense.
• grass-fed + grass-finished beef – healthier fats, better for your hormones.
• wild-caught fish – always. farm-raised is a no for me.

3c: your kitchen is so important.

i’m serious about this.

your kitchen can be a holy place.

a place where healing begins.

a place where joy returns to your plate.

some basics for clean cooking:

• glass tupperware (pyrex, glasslock, oxo)
• mason jars (smoothies, dry goods, overnight oats)
• beeswax wraps instead of plastic wraps.
• stainless steel or cast iron cookware
• wooden or bamboo utensils
• wooden cutting boards (naturally antimicrobial).

don’t forget the cleaning cabinet. yes, God cares what you spray your counters with. every scent you breathe. every product you touch. it all enters your body. so let it be clean:

• method. seventh generation. meyers. grove co. dr. bronners.
• white vinegar - cleans everything.
• baking soda - deodorizes, scrubs.
• castile soap - multi-purpose.
• lemon juice + essential oils - fresh, fragrant, real.

i'm sick of writing all of this now.

so i'll sign off with saying i love God evben if we get into it all the time in my mind and you too - i don't care if you don't back.

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mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.