Sad Feeling

Sometimes, the feeling of death is something that just consume me everytime, like a parasite being spread into my internal body, I just wanted to disappear from the world, like a reason to solve the problems in my mind and life.

And today I'm feeling this same fucking horrible feeling, thinking about several forms of just end everything, but never coming to a really end, bcuz in some reasons, something good happen and i cancel...the deadly day. But the feeling still tries to come back over me, like a influenza.

I love the spacehey people, I love the friends I have, I love the virtual friends I have, I love my parents, I love almost everything, but, I don't love myself.

And the reason of all this? My cat died, my best friend died of suicide, I'm being a complete selfish with others, almost ending friendships, and being a idiot, caring to someone that is ignoring me, emotional dependence. And also almost getting to chemical dependence on medicines made for sleep, and lastly, being a stupid and irresponsible boy.

I

Want

To

Die.