It's over, right?

I took a huge swig of my energy drink to chase the weed and the tears. I knew it would happen. Everyone did tbh, it was just a matter of time. As I'm looking at my screen wondering "what does this mean?" and now I sit here and tell people that I'm fine, and I keep my self busy so I don't sulk. Five years of wasted time, thrown away as if I were a litter box or a test grade you're ashamed of. What a pitiful first love. You texted, I called. But still it feels so damn empty in these walls. I wish I could find strength like the Hulk and not care. I know you love me. I know you're hurting. But this just isn't fair.