im fall?

Lately it's been really hard to live when you have 1000 thoughts in your head, man I hate that, everything you do you think about every fucking detail. I'm going through a downturn where the memories get stronger and the problems add to all of this and I simply feel hateful, sad, and I treat the people I love very badly. I don't know what to do about it but I know that this is killing me inside by distancing me from the people I love very much, I think I'm sick and maybe the chance of me getting better is very minimal, I'm afraid of staying like this for weeks or months and when I'm cured, the people won't be there anymore, I just want to apologize to those I hurt and recover.. :(