this is how it speaks to me

he broke up with you

now carve yourself beautiful again

empty stomach brought you a fulfilled life

don't think too much about it 

don't think about it

let the pain embrace you and make you beautiful again

don't you want to be perfect again

you're stone cold marble and I'm the chisel. 

don't you want to be loved again

mom please turn up the heat i'm shaking. 

shivering gray hands 

my embrace

yea this feels a little stupid because i've dabbled in poetry before and it was dogggshitttt but and I had some words to get out and some inspiration. When The Fat Girl Gets Skinny by Blythe Baird is a really beautiful poem about some one who was overweight and got praised for shrinking herself. I may be wrong and have to fact check that. Currently I'm battling with the thought that I was so much better at my lowest. I can hardly even remember it because of the terrible brain fog. I fell asleep with my dying cat and woke up to him dead because of anorexia nervosa. it was not better. but i've finally had boys into me, and recently a girl. it felt like everything was going right at the peak of my AAN. this writing is it creeping back into my life.