pride month growth?

holy balls, this is rambley as hell, hopefully i can edit it after im done with the draft but idk how much effort i want to put into that xD

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my own sexuality and gender, especially after finally watching the hot cross (Gary). I've always thought he was funny but I only watched him through the EZ Smalls videos through Gab. There I figured out he was asexual and very open and proud about it. 
Know I've known I'm demisexual for a yearish? but I've always been of the mind, that you could argue if demi is actually ace or not. If you don't know, demi sexual just means that you don't experience sexual attraction until AFTER romantic attraction. Idk how to describe no sexual attraction, you just have to trust me when I say I don't wanna fuck people even when I find them pleasing to look at. I do like to describe it as cupid shooting me in the ass at the most inopportune time while I'm getting to know someone, or even someone I have known for a long time. Just something happens in our conversation that makes it click. Oh shit, I would like to fuck them, that would be nice!
After digging deep into demi and ace, demi is absolutely ace. Cuz even though I do enjoy some sex, it's just not what others have told me. it has always felt over-hyped. I've always attributed that to not having a lot of experience sexually. It's kinda rare that I like someone enough to pursue soooo that's what i thought. Not realising that is really what asexuality is about. 
Demi also includes parasocial stuff too. at least for me. As long as I feel anything romantic I will then transfer it to sexual attraction. This is to say that I have a massive crush on a youtuber now cool cool. (cuz i be romantically attracted to the people in my real life please? that i CAN date?? my cupid is doing such a poor job *middle finger*)
Now I haven't followed Gary enough to know what kind of ace he is, some are sex repulsed some are like me, but it got me thinking about the difference between reality and fantasy and what I would be willing to compromise on in a relationship. Would I even be able to date someone who is ace? You could argue that for demis, sex is still very important, and would I be able to be with someone (at least monogamously) without any sexual relations? That's not something I could probably answer right now, it would have to be a discussion. I would hate to turn someone down just for this, knowing that ace's have to deal with that a lot, but it also isnt' fair to put that sexual pressure onto someone. I have personally experienced that, and it makes sex a chore and terrible, and you never ever feel turned on anymore. 

okay so I got distracted with a lemonade stream so I'm gonna submit this now before I forget and close my tabs xD Maybe I do more later