"erm, u don't want an emo boy/girl u want a" shut the actual f up

yes, I want a crusty mf that yells with autotune over stolen beats and has an artistic name like "neon spermatozoid" and somehow manages to make 10 bucks monthly off of it, yes I want a mf that loves the most earraping music there is and is willing to recommend me some, yes I want a mf with fucked up hair, or a normal hair that has the ability to go fucked up (or) yes I want a mf with long hair, yes I want a mf that shows me the most ahh music with 2 yearly listeners and calls it peak, yes i want to burn cds for said mf and draw hearts and skulls on them, yes I want to sit down for hours and watch cartoons while making kandi, yes I want said mf to sew clothes and plushies with me, yes I want said mf to go thrifting with me and go to clearance sections of stores in the mall with me, yes I want a mf to paint dumb slogans and quotes on shirts with; NO, I DON'T want a mf wearing h&m hoodies with "eternal" written on them along with baggy pants and nike air forces, that only listens to 1 album of Korn 1 album of My Chem and calls themselves emo because they know 8 bands called smth like "ballsack suicide menstrual blood escape" on soundcloud and don't even like em.