hai :3

first blog kinda nervy... i'm just gonna work with a bit of a stream of consciousness approach to this >>.<< summer is so cool & fun & even when its not i still love it. i was born in july in north america, so i feel like i have a connection with the strong rays of sun, green trees, and thick blanket of humidity in the air. there's something so dear to me about being wrapped in the warm summer breezes, a familiar sensation that brings me comfort and fills me with warmth. however, the feelings that usually tend to fill me with gratitude, a reminder that life isn't so bad, can be short lived. the only thing that remains constant is me. watching my surroundings, the flora and fauna that encompass my daily life, change and progress with the seasons almost fills me with a sense of dread. a reminder that i could be changing more than i am, that i'm falling short of my "potential", the work i'm doing in my life hasn't bloomed unlike everything else, that progress in cycles is still progress. freezing for half of the year, then thawing and blooming, just to go into survival mode against the harsh winters yet again is more productive than spending all of your time stagnant. (this doesn't mean that i have a penchant for productivity either. boss makes a dollar i make a dime that's why i shit on company time.) in my heart summer means a lot to me because even though i'm not at my best, i never am, i think its nice to see the sun for a few more hours a day at least. not all is terrible though, watching the buds form on the empty trees is also a reminder that there's always more opportunity in life. even if my past experiences feel irrelevant and dingy to me now, i'll have them to show me where i should continue on to. why else would the trees remember how to form buds? in the process of growing up, i've certainly felt how looking out at nature has helped me form some peace in my life, and watching the seasons pass helps me remember to take a breath and not worry too hard about where life takes me, and where i take myself.