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this is a longer blog than i usually do, so for those who struggle with reading or seeing, i suggest using Free Text to Speech Online with Realistic AI Voices to play the rest of my blog.
there's no point in some of them. when has there been a time, for example, that a pedophile decides NOT to add a minor just because they said, "do not interact"? the thing about the internet is, you can pretend to be ANYONE at ANY age whatsoever... i could claim i'm a 24-year-old man from texas, and someone out there would believe it — but that doesn't make it true.
my point is: it's so easy to lie online, you're better keeping your guard up until you can prove something someone says to be true (age, appearance, skills, job, etc.).
DNIs can be a good tool for someone, especially if you're simply listing basic boundaries (no one over 18, those who use loads of sarcasm, dry texters, and so on), but for something more serious or concerning, none of those people will refrain from adding you simply because of some words on the screen, they will unfortunately do what they want, which can lead to extremely risky or borderline dangerous situations, all because both parties were not safe.
there is nothing stopping someone from lying to you for malicious intent, so it's important to understand basic internet safety rules, especially for those underage and mentally prone to trust quicker than an adult would (keep in mind your brain will not fully mature until 25; there may be things you deem to be safe now, but can end up leading you into harm down the line)
this isn't to unnecessarily scare you—but to show how easy it is to track someone online. a famous example of being unsafe online was of luka magnotta, a canadian internet killer. despite committing horrific acts--starting with killing animals, then moving onto humans for attention--other online users were able to track his exact location using clues like his bed, the clothing he wore, and the music playing in the background.
even if it took those users a while, it goes to show how if someone is determined enough, they can find you based on any breadcrumbs you leave online everyday. if you're interested in this case, the netflix show titled don't fuck with cats further shows and explains how online users tracked him down.
with that out of the way, basic internet safety rules include:
1) NEVER use your real name -- keep an alias
examples:
- "(an interest, possibly a band member or band) #1 fan!!"
- fake names: "Aiden," "Sarah," "William, "Andrea," etc...
- random words: cat, strawberry, coffeecake, shortcake, etc...
2) personal information should be kept to a minimum
- saying "minor" or "under 18" rather than your specific age
- do NOT put your profile picture as a real photo of you or someone you know
- rather than specific locations, keep it to just the country. I.e., the U.S. rather than pinpointing it down to your city, even if it's considered a bigger one (like NYC or Chicago)
- schools should NEVER be shared, even if it's a homeschooled program
- social security numbers, pins, cards, etc... should NOT be shared under any circumstance
- phone numbers should be kept to yourself; they can be traced back to you
- NEVER show anyone your face, even outfit pics can be used to trace you from the background or context clues based on your clothing
- the background to your photos (even if they're not facial) are VERY IMPORTANT. always focus on what can be used against you in the background (license plates, street names, building names, written down information, specific pieces of clothing or items that mention where you are, etc...) before sending.
- keep in mind that everything you share online will be there forever; once something is posted, it can never be fully deleted
3) passwords and accounts
- you should NEVER give out your login information, especially with premium accounts, as your or someone else's card info can be traced and used maliciously
- turn on two-step verification if possible
- use safe passwords with uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols. an example may be W!Ffnirn87fn(&* (note: that is not my password and should not be used as yours)
- save your images and files to a hard drive if you're able
- update your apps to the newest versions
4) additional safety with strangers:
- be careful with what you post online, know everyone you meet is a stranger to you
- NEVER meet anyone you met online in real life
- tell an adult IMMEDIATELY if someone is displaying inappropriate behavior such as sending sexual comments, unsolicited nudes, death threats, telling you to meet them, asking for your personal information, if you're home alone, and whatever makes you uncomfortable in the slightest; it is always better to trust your instinct than trust someone behind a screen.
- refrain from social quizzes on unfamiliar sites, this can be used as a form of phishing
- do NOT click on any unfamiliar links a stranger, or friend, sends you
- do NOT download anything a stranger, or friend, sends you
- reverse images search any image someone claims to be them, any fake profile should be blocked instantly
5) sexual online abuse:
- fully understand the proper terms for body parts
- NEVER send sexual images
- NEVER ask or pressure anyone into sending nudes
- talk to an adult IMMEDIATELY if anyone makes a sexual comment to you, despite you setting down clear boundaries
- NEVER give in to someone's pressure; tell them to stop clearly. if they continue, block them and tell a trusted adult right away.
- learn the laws and repercussions for sending or receiving nudes as a minor (or as an adult with a minor)
- report any predatory behavior to parents/guardians and the police
your safety matters way more than anyone's feelings. no amount of online attention is worth putting yourself at risk. you are never in the wrong for setting boundaries or protecting yourself.
if anyone is in a tough situation, my IMs are always open — as are the hotlines listed below. the world is becoming more digital every day, but that doesn’t mean we should stop taking our safety online seriously.
stay safe out there ❤️
RESOURCES:
Top tips for staying secure online - NCSC.GOV.UK
Best tips for better internet safety for kids and families - Norton
Taking control of your online safety | Childline
Sexual Assault Awareness—10 Tips for Protecting Kids - The Representation Project
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