Living in Georgia and little tidbits about my life

I HATE Georgia. I despise the hot weather and humidity. I dislike the people. You never know how good you had something until you lose it. Back when I lived in Kentucky, I complained about it allllllll the time. My brother and I were adamant on leaving it one day, just like our mother was… Now I’m out and I’m realizing how good I had it. I left all my friends behind. Left everything.

I miss the four seasons climate of my old town. I miss the mountains. I miss it so much :( Things aren’t going well between my mother and I now that I’m living with her. Now I’m going to have to pay rent… Fuck that. I can’t go back home because I know my dad won’t take me.

 So my current plans are to just deal with living with her for the time being… Get a job definitely. There’s roughly ~500-1000 more people in this area than in my hometown. My old town was populated with mainly white people. I love seeing different people - I’d always wanted to live in areas with a more diverse population. So this is my chance, y’know?

I’ve always liked to go on walks. I did that and ride my bike around my neighborhood ALL THE TIME. I brought my bike with me but I have no motivation to ride it because no hills xP This neck of Georgia is just Flatland 101. I’m grateful to have grown up in my neighborhood because I used to go out and do things as a kid all the time… I’m always the only person walking in this neighborhood lmao. Even a little girl quipped out, “That girls walks ALL THE TIME!” as I passed by her house earlier today. Whatever. It must suck to be a kid in these areas xP Nothing to do. What fun is it to trot around the woods if there’s no mountains? It’s always scorching here. I do not blame people for not wanting to walk.

People can judge me all they want… I’m trying to learn not to care xP Like shit not to be judgmental but maybe if YOU WALKED you wouldn’t be such a little bitch. We all have our ways of regulating ourselves. Walking and listening to music is like my biggest stim. I GOTTA DO IT BRO!!!!!!!

I’m trying to learn not to compare myself to others. Comparison fukin’ KILLS, MAN! IT KILLS, I TELL YA!!!! Double that with a stupid people pleaser thing and you’re DOUBLE FUKED. One good thing I’ve learned is to not compare my looks to others. I’ve grown to be pretty comfortable in my own skin… I STILL WON’T post pictures of myself online. I still refuse to meet people online because I don’t want them to see my appearance. 

I haven’t done that in a very long time… Meet others online. I played Genshin Impact for the first time several months ago and it was a BLAST interacting with all the players. Reminded me of my Animal Crossing and Roblox days… Where I had all of these awesome friend groups. I dropped the game because I was about to move, and I don’t want to touch it right now… I’m scared about how crappy it’ll run on my damn Hughesnet connection. 

Speaking of technology, my iCloud is locked because I forgot the password and my dumbass put on two-step verification for some reason… I made my iCloud account secretly when I was twelve, hence why it has a weird name and email service provider. It’s Yandex xD Oh, and I set it up with some fake phone number that I forgot about. I have to type in the phone number to have the password reset. Luckily, I have my MacBook so I can have an infinite amount of password tries even when it gets locked up.

Anyway, going back to the games… It reminds me of how happy I am when I am around others, ESPECIALLY THOSE who catch my drift. As much as it’d be nice to have a partner, I feel like I’d be content going my life without having one, so long as I have friends. I’ve identified as aromantic and later down the line as aromantic asexual when I was younger and it still seems valid to me. Having way too much alone time is a problem - It’s called isolation. People tend to get a bit quirky when they have nothing to do with their lives… Ahaha. I just think about how great I feel around my friends, online or offline. I’ve had friends who accepted me for who I was. It’s a grand feeling. I read a small portion of a book about feeling empty over a year ago… It mentioned how social interaction can make a person feel better. Trust me, it does once you find the right people… THEY EXIST!!!!!!! They truly do exist.

I just gotta get over this inferiority complex I have. I need to stop caring about what other people think… Not in a harsh way, though. I mean more as in self-confidence. Haters gonna hate ya know. Don’t let ‘em pull you down.

As a gorl once said [Amberlynn Reid], “We shouldn’t tear people down… We should tear people up!” Or something like that, anyway. YOLO!!!!!!