I need more seconds in a minute

I'm scared of the future.

I need more seconds in a minute and more minutes in an hour.

Everything moves so fast and it takes a toll. I just want to make friends, build skills I'm passionate about, and have fun, but every path I see in front of me promising these things feels like a trap or something with hidden strings attached. So what am I supposed to do? Everything feels so harsh, what happened to living a happy life? And what's the point? I try my best and it's never enough. I don't want to be a gear in a machine. I don't want to spend my life working to make the rich richer. I want to live for myself. 

I don't want my true deepest feelings to be monetised in order to be valid. But I do want to use these feelings to make art. There needs to be a middle ground. If I talk to someone about my feelings, I don't want them to say "write a song about it then", because they're not their feelings to dictate and it feels like an 'out' without any solutions. Are my thoughts true if I don't gain anything?

This feels so complicated.