carpe diem dude

woke up at 6:30am. it’s friday. it’s summer. who has anywhere to be at 6:30am in summer? tell you who: empl*yees and ME. where did i go? i went to play soccer. now you can hold my hand while you tell you this; [whisper] i don’t play soccer. but yeah i was up at the gyat of dawn to smoke a 10 year old and a 36 year old in soccer. i haven’t played in years but i just have skill like that what can i saaaay. 

8:30am - got home and SHOWERED. CLEAN. outermost bacteria HATE to see me coming. but the day had only just begun. at this point i made a mistake - waste my precious time on roblox. how boring. how nauseating. no disrespect to roblox or those who play roblox, but to myself who should’ve known i’d regret getting on roblox. i decided i needed to experience some peak television, so i switched off “You” (i’m on season 3, regrettably) and turned to “Delicious in Dungeon”. naturally, i was satisfied. 

i got bored of devices and decided to sit with my thoughts. i had an epiphany.

i was so so so incredibly bored. seriously. i was bored out of my mind. but instead of being in a state of agony, i saw opportunity. of all the things i could do with my day. and this was awesome to me because when i reflected on what i was like when i was bored in the past, i realized i always landed in depression or chronic anxiety or something of the sort. something negative. i ended doing things id regret just to feel something. but boredom should not be that deep. i’ve heard that one of the most common stressors is having too many options. i think any of us can see that as true. but i’m glad i can see that having so many options is much, much better than having none or even few. 

carpe diem dude. 

i did laundry and jammed to music and felt good. man, my mental health hasn’t been this good in a while. anxiety never goes away, but i can deal with it better as of right now.

i planned out the rest of my day so i can be productive but do some stuff that i want to do for fun. i know what im doing tomorrow too. 

God blesss