the dissatisfaction with an ordinary life

disatisfaction with life in general is a very common and layered feeling. so naturally we ask: where does it come from? is it the hollow of our daily repeated routines that stretch out to a seemingly endless present? is it the imprisonment of our societal structures and social expectations, the rigid thoughtpatterns that make us feel tight and anorexic and in craving for control? maybe we long to give up control, and float in the atmosphere, unchained and falling for the nihilistic mindloop?

we look for escapism of the present moment, of our past, and even the uncertainty of our futures. we crave connection in a time of loneliness, we scroll to forget, to ignore, to escape, or maybe to remember why we are here, why it is that we keep going, walk the same streets ,greet the same people. and i ask myself if everyone feels that way, sort of trapped in expectations. of our parents, teachers, family, the images we see portrayed on our screens, until youve totally forgotten what you actually are and want. i see so many people trying to ignore that existential ache of wanting to do things diffrently, diffrent  than their parents, because even though there is cofort in what we know, there is a breeze that sometimes catches our soul that makes us ache for more. for something we cant quiet identify. but that feeling is uncomfortable so it is pushed aside, occasionly summoned in daydreams, and we wonder, we ponder, we do what people always did: search for anwers. logical explenations. but maybe we ask the wrong questions. i think we have much more power over the outturn of our lives than we realise. we were made to belive that some things just are the way they are and you cant change them. but i disagree. i think, i feel, so so much, and thoughts and feelings can change matter, physical realities, even. so when i wander through the streets and look for a sense of identity, i remeber: you dont have to know it all yet, otherwise why would you still be here, when we are hear to learn, and the process of that is the slimy longing of our youthful visions of what might be.

so there are many answers but ive found that surprising yourself in daily matters is effective. like in that scene in the truman show, where he just stops the cars and looks around, gets his car and just drives. i think thats what we should do more often: just drive. even if were not sure where were going, especially then, because standing still is worse than death. life means evolving. and its difficult to evolve when every day is the same.

do something diffrently, break old patterns. 

you are held back by invisible lines that dont exist.

if you feel stuck, be random.