why don’t i care

recently i’ve realized that i don’t really care about things. 

like i feel like i don’t  care as much as i should 

it’s just i’m so convinced that im not going to live very long so i just do things carelessly 

for example im 17 and already i have 18 piercings and two shitty tattoos that i did on myself and because of this i can’t get a job and people look down on me istg my best friend is always disappointed in me and i’m 100% sure my family is ashamed of me

but like i don’t care i don’t care what other people think of me which is a good thing i guess but the job thing im sort of worried but at the same time i just don’t give a gaf and for my family well shit if they don’t like me then so be it. 

like i could die any day i could die tomorrow i could die next week next month next year in a few seconds minutes hours etc etc i could die literally any time any how.

i can’t predict the future

who knows maybe the world will end tomorrow.

but seriously when i try to think of a future for myself i don’t see anything just a dark void.

and honestly it kind of makes me sad but guess what!! i also kind of don’t care!!

anyone else or just me??