wow (vent ig)

i still find it hard to believe that im 2-ish years away from 18, time flies by so fast. my parents are getting older, i have 3 years left in high school, soon i'll start driving and get my first job, everything feels like it's happening so quickly. I just hope i can enjoy all of it. i don't really plan on going to college, but when that time comes, i'll apply for a few schools just in case. I hate seeing my parents age, my mom is 40 and my dad is in his mid/late 50s, MY DAD IS GETTING WHITE HAIRS il||li(つд-｡)il||li i really hate the fact that my parents will be gone soon one day and it hurts to think about. i felt lonely and depressed when my great grandmother died back in 2023 i think, life imo didn't feel the same since then, i want to go back in time to talk to her again, to hear her voice again, when my dad could come over and stay as long as he wanted, when he wanted, it just.. sucks imo. I need to get friends some time soon, have it be online or offline, i really dont talk to any one and gets beyond loney often. when school starts again i might just ask my counselor to help me get friends, when ever i talk to people i make so weird when it shouldn't and it sucks.

im gonna end it here because its getting too long and i shouldn't even talk about things like this publicy anyway but i have no one else to turn to, i could write it or draw it out maybe but idk