went op-shopping/thrifting 2day...kinda + blog

my mum dropped me off on the corner where all 3 of them r and only 1 was open..

it is a public holiday (Matariki) but still wished they were all open, only the shitty one where my ex-cooking teacher works part-time. i also snagged some headphones off the ground at school and i used them 2day...they're really good.

my phone doesnt have the normal plug thing, and these headphones have the charger port connector-thingy so yeah!!

i was only in town for like 15mins...plus i was wearing a cute outfit so it was kinda a waste of day. i got some steps in ig...whatever. i wuld add a pic but im now just in comfy clothes. maybe next time i make a blog. but its a blue hoodie, denim skirt, and my uggs , a small bag for my wallet and phone and lip balm + a drop pony. i can never get a cute ponytail, my hair isnt dead enough. tough life.

i live rural so i cant really walk anywhere without being hit by a car, and i have no friends so i justv sit in my room all day, muck around on my computer and spacehey and wait for school. fuck living rural. my mum actually asked if i liked where we live and i wanted to say "FUCK NO!!!" but i cant do that so i just said "well...i cant really do anything so i kinda just have 2 sit in my room all day, plus (friends name) lives near the highschool and she can walk wherever she wants." and my mum was like "well, you know yiu can always have me drive you places.." and...that isnt really the same thing. i have like, zero freedom. it sux. i cant just walk down the street and see friends bc all my "friends" would just be fucking cows. and dont get me started on teh smell of cow shit. 

living nz rural really really really sucks. especially bc my sister can drive, so shes always going to her boyfriends hockey games and out of the house. im so jealous. i cant wait for summer though. we have a bach near the beach in another town (whangamata) and ill be able to walk whereever i want!!! im gonna be going out on runs like....everyday.

i have a really good running playlist, i can run for like 30mins non-stop bc its so good. summer is gonna be so good. ive gotten skinny recently so im gonna b able to wear cute bikinis YAY!!! plus theres gunna be summer fruits and i can make smoothies and im gonna try make some friends this summer!! theres a primary+middle+ highschool there so im gonna try find some events where ppl my age are gonna be so i can talk 2 them. i sound like a pedophile wtf. anyways..yeah. im gonna go to the local library and get some books so i can go on walks and read under trees and shit. be all #aesthetic #pinterest

i just remembered that i have a science assessment to finish..fml. ive just got 2 put it on nice paper and stuff but....i dont want 2. whatever, ive got 6 days, ill survive.

my mum just went out to the dairy to get some bread. theres this really good bread (couplands wheatmeal) and its only 70cal pp...like..thats awesome. im gonna have a cheese toasty and some veggies 4 lunch. 

i hate winter in nz. it doesnt even snow here so its just wet and muddy and sad. im gonna make myself a cup of tea after i finish this...im so cold.

its like 1pm which is early 4 me 2 eat lunch (even though we have lunch at 12:40pm at school..) but i usually have lunch at 3 on weekends. im so excited for some reason though. ive been really into carrots recently. last friday, i have cut up 2 carrots into carrot sticks and i was like buzzing in class bc i was so excited. 

im also really excited for summer. did i mention that?? i just am. im also gonna get a job 2. ive got my eye on a car (link 2 see here...) and its pretty cheap. ive got 2-3 years until i get my liscence, so 2-3 years to save up is pretty good. then im gonna save up for university/living in brazil. i was thinking about going 2 stanford but theres no way in hell am i saving enoight money up in 5 years for that. id have to make like...100k per year. but i think ufrj is free/cheap so yeah, im gonna go to brazil for uni. my parents are like "oh but its not save there, theres gangs,,,blablshblah" and everywhere isnt safe. nz has gangs, america has gangs, everywjere has gangs!! and theyre like "oh but you'll have to learn a new language..." so???? im not gonna die if i learn a new fucking language. i dont get why my parents are so opposed to the thing, they do watch a lot of cop/gang shows. idk.

also i ur reading this....thanks. i appreaciate u. not a lot of my friends on here read my bulletins so i really appreaciate you reading this. a lot actually.

theres this guy at my school, and he has a fat crush on me. i used to like him but then i gave myself a reality check, "do i actually want to date him or does he just have similar interests to me?" and im not really into him anymore. but i feel really shitty, bc he really likes me. like..a lot. and yesterday, i saw him sitting with these girls a year above us and i felt so jealous????? idk, i just didnt like it. but i wouldnt ever date him, so why am i mad??!!? ive never had a guy like me so idk what to do, ive only recently gotten "likeable' (okay looking and not that fat) and now ppl like me and it feels weird, considering im stilll the same on the inside...idk

also..its 2:11pm, i just finished having lunch. i left midway through the blog, lol. it was good tho. i had some carrot, tomato, and cucumber + a toastie. yummy!! my mum also got some cassava chips and i tried them 4 the first time....their ok. not good but i wouldnt starve if i had to choose between eating them or starving to death.

anyways...i dont think i have anything left 2 talk about. so im gonna end it here.

xoxoxoxo, peace and love

-Ellie