I WILL get out of here, even if I die trying!

  We, as humans, naturally have hopes and dreams. Dreams to explore certain places, or live certain lives. I, for one, dream to start over. No matter where I end up, I always want to start over. I never finish my blog entries so I'll make this a quick one. 

  Ever since I was little, I never liked change. I've always had a hard time dealing with it. But after everything I've gone through, I've learned to find comfort in change. I hate stagnancy with a burning passion. But I've learned to love the new. My first big change was moving to Brazil. I had a really hard time adapting and I never took advantage of the amazing opportunity I had to create some of the greatest memories of my life. Fortunately but also unfortunately, I moved back to the United States. Then, of course, came the fake friendships and fake romances. Nothing you say or do is going to be right to everyone. There will always be at least one person who has something negative to say, and there will always be a sheep that follows along on the negativity. But what does that stuff matter anyways?

  I am a high school dropout who can't keep a job for more than 6 months at a time. I am a chronic smoker, and I have no aspirations career-wise. How will I achieve any of my goals without credentials? I won't. But a girl can dream!

   I yearn for love. A love so unrealistic you may only ever find it within the pages of a book. And, in this generation, I fear I may never find that in real life. But, I have to try don't I? 

  The way things are going, it doesn't seem too good for me. I may never reach my goals and my dreams may never come true. But, I have to try, because if I don't, it may be the biggest regret of my life. And so I will die trying. I will die trying to find the love of my life exactly how I picture him. I will die trying to travel to the places I dream of. I will die trying to have the life I wish for. And I just might die dreaming. But, it's worth it. because without hope, and without dreams, we are nothing.

sincerely,

Sammi, freshly 19