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recently ive been really depressed and i cant stop thinking about my life. i dont what i want anymore. it feels like up until a few months ago i was in delusion land thinking everything was gonna magically work out and that things were gonna be easy without my having to lift a finger. now ive come to realize that i hate my life. i hate that im not close enough to my family to share these thoughts, i hate that i feel like complaining about this to my only friend would be burdening her, and i hate that in order for anything to work out i have essentially kill myself working a terrible job every chance i get and spend like half my week in classes for something i dont even know if i want anymore. i dont to do anything anymore and i dont want to make anything of myself and it sucks. i used to be so bright eyed and hopeful, though naive, i had a passion for everything around me and now im locked in my room all day wondering when everythings gonna end. this is fucking hell and part of me wishes i died when i was 13 back when i didnt have friends, family, or a taste of what life could be like. one day im gonna go to sleep and be whisked away to dreamland where everything sorts itself out by magic and ill never come back.
talk about a broken record
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user27☮︎
Your never alone. Harming yourself isn't the answer though it always seems like to only way to make the pain stop. Theres ups and down in life, and that's how it's always going to be. It's okay to fall down and struggle to get back up, as the Japanese saying "七転び八起き" which translates to "fall seven times, stand up eight" It's important to hold some will power. Once you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up. Don't let these thoughts surround you, though it seems hard, you have to try. Asking for a therapist can give a portal to your family about your thoughts. Any who, I wish you luck on your growth and please don't let your spirits down