Maverick Golds

when my grandmother

died, I wasn’t allowed

at the funeral. My mother told me

to stay in the bathroom - out of the way

but I waited

outside, sobbing on the curb

instead. I could hear my relatives’ cries

as they finally realize

she’s gone, really gone. They don't car

that I'm gone too. I can't

be in the room with them

but I grieve all the same.

inside: my family mourned.

outside: I smoked my first cigarette.

I wonder if they heard my cries too.