last week of junior year

Im feeling weird. I feel like 16 is a weird age. For me i feel like i’m the bridge between literally children and grown adults. My youngest friends (i feel weird calling them friends) are just starting in high school and my oldest friends are getting pregnant and settling down. I will not name who, but I certainly did not expect it. 

Everytime i talk to someone thats already graduated i get told the same thing. It gets netter when youre not surrounded by high schoolers. I believe that, but at the same time i know im gonna miss it

I know that, no matter what im told, your senior year is the most important. Everytime i say this i once again get people who are currently about to graduate or already gone telling me it really isnt a big deal. It’s not that I think it’ll be hard. I chose my own classes i know what im getting myself into (two englishes, one social studies, three arts, one study, yearbook) and im not worried about that. It’s the “have you decided what youre doing after?” And the “have you applied to/heard back from any schools?”

Im working on a portfolio at the moment as im trying to pursue art. Illustration. I wanna get into comics and cartoons. I was actually planning on going to the states but seeing all the bullshit going down at the moment im trying to avoid it. Canada is very boring, I will say. 

Today is the day of fine arts night, which is just all of the schools art programs displaying g their stuff. Im unfortunately a band kid so i will have to play the terrible arrangements my music teacher keeps giving us.  Today is actually the last time my school will ever have a band performance as not enough people chose to take it next year for it to be an actual class.

This is a good thing. 

My music teacher is the worst. Condescending, rude, annoying. I also know that teachers aren’t really supposed to be talking about their own personal political and religious views but thats all they do. I think they believe they’re an exception because they’re left leaning, which is cool, i agree with most (not all) of their views. But personally i dont think we need to hear how you believe money is something that should not exist when we’re trying to get through scales.

They also pick and choose what they want to believe.  For example, they made fun of my first for liking David Bowie because he’s a pedo, but proudly has multiple led zeppelin posters hung up on the wall of the classroom.

Another issue i have is that they are almost never here. I take both the band class (early inthe morning, before school) and instrumental class (practically a study) and they are extremely mean to people who miss class and will cal them out in front of everyone the next time they show up. But the teacher themselves? Has another job outside of teaching. So they’re only here a few times a week. Sure, it’s a pre existing commitment, but if youre not here everyday, then you shouldn’t be a dick to people who also aren’t here everyday. 

I wont get into the rest now (I definitely will later) but it’s really killing any motivation to ply drums. Alongside the band class performance tonight, I’ll be playing with my actually band (the good one. Me and my two besties) and im excited for that. We’re playing this is the day by the the and in circles by sunny day real estate.  Yay