Reflection on love and life part 1

I was laying in the bed thinking to myself what is the one thing I am proud of out of everything I have accomplished this year?

I was able to admit that I didn't love someone only the way that they loved me.

I was like this with plenty of people. However this particular person I flipped their life upside down. Some good and some bad.

I was able to give this person some type of closure and apologize wholeheartedly that I was unable to love them. I guess I felt that because I had loved another who was incapable of giving me that same love in return then it was ok to fill that void with someone who did. I ended up hurting this person and they had some hate in their heart for me. I could completely understand because I knew how that felt. I felt comfortable and at peace closing that chapter with no bitterness or anger in my heart. I didn't want them to have that resentment either to take into their new adventure into relationships.

I once heard closure isn't real because you always have questions with no answers, I now know that is not true. I was able to give that closure and peace between us both. I'm a different me because of the experience.

In 2016 I got saved and close to religion, that had my mind all kind of discombobulated. In 2017 I pushed away religion and got closer to God and within that I have been able to embrace God and know that within me is everything that has been given. Through my pain, through my suffering, I am the GOAT of my life.

Through the ashes left from the flame I rise, like the Phoenix I am strong and soar through the sky.