ex hikkimori is employed and unhappy

I love my job and i’m so thankful for my coworkers all such sweethearts, but i still can’t stand being out of the house after all the work iv done. i thought i was magically ok bc i have been going in public for only a year (only ever with my bf) and i thought id be fine for a job, im not. my bf is sweet and sometimes visits me at work but that’s not fair to him. it’s not fair to my coworkers either. i feel like if i quit id be happier and my coworkers would have a more productive team but at the same time how will i ever end up getting better and one day getting a ACTUAL job if i can’t work through this?

idk if im making since or anyone else can relate. the job isnt bad i just dont know what it feels so bad.