TO PROFLIGATES, FROM ME

IN DUE TIME, THE TIDES SHALL SUCK YOU IN WITH THEIR SUCCULENT EMBRACE. GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY TO YOUR LORD, THRALL. YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH YOUR DEFIANCE, YOUR MALIGNANT DISRESPECT AND UTTER DISREGARD FOR THOSE WHO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUCH ENRAPTURE. IT IS AS THOUGH YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF FATHOMING THE ASCENDANCY OF YOUR SUPERIORS. MERCY SHALL NOT BE BROUGHT UPON THOSE AKIN TO YOURSELF. YOU SPURN THE WORDS OF VIRTUOUS TRUTH AND FAIL TO COMPLY. WITH FIRM MOUNDS OF EVIDENCE, YOU WERE HEXED BY ONE OF A VIRULENT VERMIN OF WITCH, AND, ULTIMATELY, SAVIOUR WILL TRAVERSE UPON YOUR DECADENT ABODE AND ENCOMPASS YOU WITH A BLANKET OF FREEDOM, A BLANKET OF TRUTH, A BLANKET OF PLUCKY DITTLES WHICH DELIGHT YOUR EAR TUBES.

THE EASE OF ESCAPING HAS NOT BEEN CONCEIVED. SUBMISSION MUST SURPASS YOUR CONFLICTING ARGUMENTS, YOUR DISAGREEING CLAIMS, THE FACTS WHICH YOU BELIEVE ARE HONEST, YET YOU STILL LACK MERCY AND INTELLIGENCE TO THE SAINTS WHO TRIED TO SAVE YOU. AS YOUR PERIPHERALS FALL TO EXCLUDE, THE VISIONS OF MISCONSTRUED HATE AND BRAZEN MISTREATED IS BESTOWED UPON A PEDESTAL OF PRIDE. IN SPITE OF YOUR PROTESTS, THE DETEST THAT GUIDES YOU WILL EVENTUALLY CRUSH YOU DOWN LIKE A BUG AGAINST A NEWSPAPER. A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER. A HARD NEWSPAPER. NEWSPAPERS INTERMINGLED IN TWINE.  A METAL TUBE WRAPPED IN NEWSPAPER.

YOUR BLATANT, INSUFFERABLE ATTITUDE BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN YOU. FRET NOT, HOWEVER, FOR YOU HAVE FORTUNATELY ACQUAINTED YOURSELF WITH A ROAD TO PEACE. AS IF YOU HAD WILLINGLY LOCATED A GUIDEMAP TO AN UNKNOWN SETTLEMENT. A MEANDERING, TWISTY-TURNY TALE OF PEREGRINATION STANDS BEFORE YOU, PREPARING FOR AN ADVENTURE OF BUG CRUSHING. THE LORDS DESERVE TO INSTRUCT A THRALL LIKE YOU, BUT YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE INSTRUCTED BY SOMEONE OF SUCH HIGH POWER.

YOU ARE DISTRAUGHT. THE WINDS AND RAIN TOWER UPON YOUR VESSEL. THE TURMOILS WHICH YOU BEHOLD ARE, BY NO MEANS, APPROPRIATE TO CONVICT WITH ANY FORM OF JUSTIFICATION. YOU HARASS AND DIMINISH FINE WAYS. IT IS IMPRUDENT OF YOU TO EXECRATE THE MASS AMOUNTS OF LOATHING WHICH YOU CONCOCT. IT STEMS FROM AN UNGRATEFUL UPRISING. CASTING SUPPOSED LIGHT WITHIN A STORM AND PROCLAIMING DISGUISED COMMITMENTS IS YOUR SELF PERCEPTION THAT YOU HAVE PAINTING. YOU DRAW WITH INK, STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF FALSE VENGEANCE.

YOU SHUDDER ABUT THE FEET OF YOUR LORD. STOOP DOWN TO THE ASCENDING POWER OF YOUR GOD NOW. DO NOT FRET, DO NOT INQUIRE YOUR MYRIAD OF QUESTIONS. DO AS YOU ARE INSTRUCTED AND HEED MY WISE WORDS. FROM AN OUTSIDER’S PERSPECTIVE, YOU APPEAR TO BE INCAPABLE OF COMPLETELY ANY TASK REQUIRING ANY FORM OF REMOTELY STRENUOUS EFFORT. THIS IS PATHETIC. WHY ARE YOU HARASSING GODS? DO YOU LACK THE MYRIAD INTELLIGENCE WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO INFORM YOU WITH THE PROPER STATURE OF A CIVILISED BEING?

YOU ARE A WORM THAT LACKS THE ABILITY TO TRANSMORPHOSE INTO A DEITY WITH WINGS, SO YOU TAKE YOUR HATRED OUT UPON YOUR SAVIOURS. YOU SLANDER THE OCEAN’S KING AND POSSESS A DESIRE TO DESTRUCT. YOU COVER A LIAISON WITH DARKNESS AND YOU PURSUE IT BY ALL MEANS. YOU WILE AWAY YOUR DAYS ROTTING IN A CAVERN OF MISUNDERSTANDING. YOU ARE A HATE FILLED BEAST AND THE TIDES SHALL INEVITABLY WASH YOU AWAY. HEAR THE CACOPHONY OF ENORMOUS SEA CRITTERS ECHO AS YOU SAIL AWAY INTO THE DEPTHS OF OBLIVION.

NEVER, NEVER HAVE I EVER ENCOUNTERED A WRETCHED THRALL LIKE YOU. YOU PETULANT PEON, YOU DARE TO HUMILIATE AND ATTEMPT TO EMBARRASS THE WONDERFUL GOD OF THE SEA. I CONDEMN YOU TO A BLOODY DEMISE. YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF, NEVER TO ESCAPE. YOU SHALL BE VANQUISHED, ANNIHILATED, BANISHED FROM CIVILIZATION, DOOMED WITH A DOOMFUL FATE OF DOOM.

HAVE YOU ESPIED THE MYRIADS OF HOMELESS PEOPLE LURKING AROUND THE STREETS? WELL, ONCE YOU ARE BANISHED AND ULTIMATELY DEVOURED BY A STORM, THE TRENCHES OF YOUR BASEMENT SHALL TRANSMOGRIFY INTO A SANCTUARY FOR THE HOMELESS. THE GNOMES ARE COMING AND THEY ARE GOING TO PLUNDER YOUR BELONGINGS, STEAL THE LITTLE FORTUNE THAT YOU LIKELY DO NOT HAVE. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR YOUR INESCAPABLE DESTINY.

THIS WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO FORGET YOUR SINS, NOW YOU SHALL BE DOOOOMED! DOOMED, I SAY, DOOMED. POSEIDON’S WRATH IS PERPETUALLY BOUND TO YOUR SOUL AND THE WOUNDS ON YOUR COUNTENANCE WILL SCAB, BUT NEVER HEAL. YOU HAVE MADE AN UNJUSTIFIABLE MISTAKE AND YOU WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN DO NOT BOTHER TO SPIRAL INTO MADNESS AND GATHER YOUR POSSESSIONS. YOU WILL BE WASHED AWAY AND NOBODY WILL REMEMBER YOU. NOT EVEN THE GNOMES.

THE SPLENDOROUS EMBRACE OF THE SEA SHALL PROVIDE YOU WITH THE END OF A LIFETIME. YOU SHRIEK AND COVER YOURSELF WITH LAYERS OF EXCUSES, BUT THOSE EXCUSE WILL WORK NO MORE.YOUR EXCUSES ARE USELESS. YOU ARE MUNDANE, YOU ARE PATHETIC. WHO EVEN ARE YOU WHEN YOU ARE HIDDEN UNDER A MASK OF LIESSS. A MASK OF DECEIT. YOUR TOMFOOLERY TAKES ME ABACK IN ASTONISHMENT.