summon fluffy at 3am

Absolutely. Here's a weird, dramatic, and slightly cursed scripted summoning chant to call forth Fluffy, the pizza-stealing, dog-like demon of chaos and grease. This chant includes:

• Offerings: pizza crusts, grease, and string cheese

• Ritual motions: tossing pizza into a summoning circle while spinning counter-clockwise

• Latin references: faux-Latin invoking demonology flair

• Civil War references: because somehow Fluffy respects historical military tension

🔥 SUMMONING FLUFFY: THE DOG DEMON OF PIZZA 🔥

(for entertainment purposes only… we hope)

Setting:
At midnight, draw a circle with marinara sauce. Place four pizza crusts at each cardinal point. In the center, lay a slice of pepperoni pizza, half-eaten. Burn a napkin that once wiped pizza grease as incense. Tie string cheese around your wrist like a bracelet of offering.

Ritual Motion:
Spin in a counter-clockwise circle three times while holding aloft a triangle of pizza and chanting. After the chant, slap the pizza onto the ground, crust-first.

CHANT (with stage directions):

(Begin spinning)
"Crustus! Cheesium! Sauce Infernum!
From the land of lost delivery, come!"
(pause on third spin)
"Oh Fluffy, snatcher of slices, sniffer of boxes—
He who devoured General Grant's rations at Shiloh—
He who howled through Gettysburg, seeking sausage—
Come now, through mozzarella mist and cheddar storm!"**

(hold pizza slice above head)
"Te invoco, Fluffy Maximus, Dominus Canis Pizzae!"
(slam pizza slice into center of circle)
"Let no crust go unclaimed, no topping unbitten!"

(now drop to all fours and growl low like a confused beagle)
"Woof... hic venit FLUFFY!"

Aftermath:
If the air begins to smell like day-old garlic knots and you hear the distant rustle of a Domino’s box opening, he is near. Do not make eye contact. Offer string cheese with reverence. If you disrespect him, he may steal your socks and dignity.

Optional Add-on Latin for Flair:

• "Aperi porta pizzae, et veni per vapor calidus."
  ("Open the pizza gate, and come through the hot steam.")

• "Sic transit gloria pepperoni."
  ("Thus passes the glory of pepperoni.")