entering the wonderful world of adulthood

i never really thought about it, but i have been alive for seventeen years. and in those seventeen years, i never actually realized that i'm about to be an adult until very recently.

there were a few things that really signaled just how old i am. the first was the announcement of generation beta. the second was the very recent notification that my best friend is now a college student, and the also very recent end of my junior year of high school.

time is moving and it's moving in a way that both excites and scares me. i am going to turn eighteen in only a few months, and shortly after high school will be behind me and i'll go onto college. i have been waiting to be an adult for a while and i want to be on my own. but whenever i look into what i need to do in order to make that happen, i get hit with a wave of nihilism and hopelessness from seemingly every outlet. specifically when it comes to housing.

for whatever reason, seemingly nobody can afford housing except rich millennials or gen x-ers. and the market reflects this tenfold with "cheap" apartments starting at nearly $1000 a month for a studio. everybody talks about the problem and how bad it is, but nobody is sharing any solutions to the problem either. for a while i wanted to do vanlife after high school. i still want to do vanlife. but i also want to spend a little time living in a city, explore nightlife, make friends with strangers in a bar, and all that young adult stuff. but if i can't afford it, then how am i supposed to do it? and if nobody is offering any solutions or i have to somehow make more money, than how am i supposed to get out on my own at all?

the only way it seems to fulfill my dream of, y'know, having a fun and meaningful life, is to go into a career that i don't care about. i've always wanted to be an artist or in the entertainment industry, but since i can't rely on either of those anymore (thank you very much openAI), i have to go either into business or computer science. both of those i could really give a shit about, but at least both of those careers offer salaries that make life affordable.

part of me just wants to say "fuck it, do it anyway". move down to chicago, join an acting troupe, live in a van, do college on the side, move out to portland or british columbia or something and be a painter or write a novel or something. that would definitely be a great way to spend my twenties and early thirties. but on the other hand, it's not like i live in a rich family who can offset the cost of a life like that. and would i really want to do that? could i do that being an overweight kid who spent most of his life sitting and staring at computer monitors?

if anyone has any similar thoughts or experiences i'd really like to read them. same goes for people who found ways to get around this housing kerfuffle.

til the next one :P