12 June 2025 Internet Diary

It's been longer than I would have hoped for this next entry. I haven't been too busy I've just been thinking, and I didn't want to make another entry unless I really meant it.

My birthday is coming up in just over one month and I don't really know how to feel about it. I hate the feeling of aging and even though I'll only be turning nineteen I always wonder if I've done enough with my life. I worry if what I've done was right, and there's so much more that I wish I could have done or that I wish I could do still. I miss so many people all the time, people that I thought I could never live without. I miss the time I had with those people, but I never miss who I was as a person at that time. I feel like I've never been who I want to be and maybe that's not a bad thing, but I don't know if I'll ever be who I want to. it's been really hard telling myself that I'm worth anything or that I'm enough and I just want someone that can notice the little things about me and really appreciate who I am. I similarly want to find someone where everything about them speaks to me, but I don't know if that's ever going to happen.

Anyways, that's all I have for this rant/yap. As always, I appreciate you and you are loved :)