Some weirdly magnetic weeks...

Lately, things seem to go really slow, but at the same time really fast for some reason? I'm getting very tired of routines, hence the reason why I joined SpaceHey in the first place. In the medical field (lol not even field, I'm just a student but anyways) I think it's fairly easy to fall out of your path. Not a single flag at sight, or a group of symptoms that ultimately lead to your downfall.... It just happens. Your pride, your joy, your future, everything that you adopt to make an idea of yourself can go away in some weeks of bad luck, (or bad habits?) I don't actually know the reason. 

But it happens, and it does everyday. Every person is struggling with their own cognitive dissonance between hurting one to reach a goal, or staying in place, attracting whatever may come. I've seen people that cling to this idea of academical prowess, hiding the pain they face everyday and the lack of purpose just by using the infamous "white coat" (again, this is metaphorically since i'm still at hospital practice lol). 

It's very complicated to deal with these feelings, and I'm not the kind of person that wants everyone to think that I'm OK (at least, not trying to be). I have not experienced failure, nor humiliation in my early years, and not just that, but all the things that are happening right now in everyone's life seems crazy to me. 

I've been slowly loosing both the purpose and the path to what I was thriving to achieve, but I think that it's all part of a bigger purpose. I'm failing, discovering myself constantly and violently, learning to negotiate with the soul inside of this body, just to find balance. With every fail comes a bigger leap into whatever awaits me. 

And I think I'm happy about that??

Not too much to complain, either. I recognize myself as the bearer and maker of the joy and the pain to come. Everything that is happening is because of me, and by understanding this, one shouldn't aspire to change the context or the environment, but to become part of it in an organic way. 

I aspire to become better, gain knowledge and of course have fun!

That's all. I'll try to post some reflections or things that happen in my life daily, finally making the switch from normal social media :p