Gaslighting Father

Hey, it's been a while. I have had a lot happening in my life and haven't posted, so allow me to catch everyone up; I tried to get a counselor, but my dad told me I was crazy and he'd throw me in a mental hospital (he didn't, thank God.) My panic attacks worsened over the past few months during school and it deeply worsened my mental health. My dad has been gaslighting me and saying everything I suffered through my childhood was over exaggerated from my story and I've finally realized I AM BEING GASLIT. I also found out I'm a lesbian, so yeah. Going more into the gaslighting, my step-mom and me finally realized it during our talk this morning. I had thought Abt it previously, but the brainwashing was so deep I brushed it off as "Faith Talk" (My sister, Faith, who my dad said lied Abt everything. But I'm even doubting that.) My sister always said he was, but I didn't believe it. Now here I am, almost 14 and realizing everything he said was probably lies. When I talked about my childhood, he said it was lies. My anxiety? Lies to him. He always have never been truthful, HELL HE EVEN GOT A GIRLFRIEND WHILE MY MOM WAS SICK AND STILL MARRIED TO HIM (The woman being my step-mom and unaware since they didn't live in the same house.) His reasoning? He wanted everything when she passed. It's disgusting and scummy, and he swears he has changed. Fuck no he hasn't. Acts the same, makes something out of nothing, lies, brainwashes, indoctrinates. Should I go on? I'll be here for hours. My whole childhood I was lead to believe my dad was right and my sister was crazy and a liar. But apparently, it's the opposite. Or they both lie, how should I know?! My life is spiraling, but 4 more years and I can leave. God, I wish I could take my step-mom with me. She deserves so much better than to be treated like that until she dies. She always has supported me, I desperately want to pay her back. I came out to her a lesbian when I knew I could never tell my father, and she supported me. But, my life is spiraling. I finally woke up, and I can't live knowing it while I live under the same roof with such a scumbag. Anyways, that's everything. Nothing much else to share. Happy Pride and bye!