blog entry 08 : 10/06/2024

overview:

I almost gave up on writing this diary today since I don't have anything interesting to say, but consistency is key and if I drop this for one day I might drop it forever so I'll just write the little things. 

things I'm proud that I did today:

♡ played 4 episodes of phantom of the opera : did not fap or edge : read 40+ pages of pride and prejudice

things I'm not proud that I did today:

♡ almost nothing!!

plans for tomorrow:

♡ read 5 pages of pride and prejudice : watch a movie : play 1 episode of phantom of the opera 

rant / vent: 

♡ honestly I really need help with not doing myself regularly. It's not even that pleasurable except for 3 seconds of coming. It hurts so bad after it ends. And I waste so much time on this I hate it. I was exposed to p*rn and g*re and weird k*nks at a young age So I guess I had this coming. But my body aches if I don't do it regularly. Fortunately it didn't ache like that today so I didn't have to do it. I wished I had someone to talk about this but if just makes anyone uncomfortable for valid reasons. It just drags down to the fact I don't have anyone on earth in my 17 years of living. This is ass. Chat gpt censors itself when I ask how to stop this ache , strangers who say free to vent block me after even after they assured they can handle my trauma or the strangers try asking sexual questions which is out of the topic of venting. I just want to know how to stop being h*rny. Out of jokes it's ruining my life. 

♡ no vent for today

if you cared enough to read this far thank yew, you're very awesome and we should definitely talk (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) !!!