Old Poem I

Lotus Eater

I eat so plenty, your leaves so dear

and hold on to nothing as my memories disappear

I dug it from the earth, the axe above my head

borne of a tradition old and often said

I saw it in your life, and now it is in mine

this man in the mirror became so fragile in time

now in the stare 

a vicious sorrow gouges my spine

and I look for the tears that I never cried

lotus, your petals, your affliction is desire

and bless me you have in days good and dire

intermittent now between your love and numbness

is this all my life is, will be, this nothingness?

nothing I am, and nothing I shalt be

from ash I art, and ash I belong

ash that I am, and ash I shalt be