my unhealthy love for depression

im stuck. goddamn i hate feelings why tf does it hurt so bad?? my first relationship was on September, i didnt even know you liked me. you asked me out we dated all the way till march and then u leave me. your excuse is your too busy and family problems. its been 3 months. it hurts each time i see couples each time i see ppl falling in love. i just think about us. it hurts to see others relationship work and ours didnt. i told you, im only willing to date if it would last forever, so why did you leave? why am i hurting and your not?? you liked me first, you told your parents about me before you asked me out, i met your parents, your familly, you skated to my house, you were willing to come to my house even when it was raining, so why?? why at of the bloom you leave?? you enter my heart so carelessly and im trying to be sane.