BIG THREAT STRIKES!

Good morning everypony welcome back to the blog I update VERY OCCASIONALLY

So like. hi, I've completed junior year of college and am a month into my summer break as we speak. I haven't really been doing much. I've always kinda loathed summer as a season because, well, there's nothing to do! I already went to all my favorite parks and spots before the temperature cranked up to one gajillion degrees and made it impossible to do anything for more than five seconds before melting into a sad little popsicle on drizzling my liquids down the incline of my driveway.

Coulda worded that better. STILL LOL I hate summer and I hate going outside during the summer. That means a lot of staying inside and a lot of being on my 'puter. One small problem: people on the internet are either busy or annoying! I don't have time to constantly be pestered and pick apart everything that's sent my way in search of feedback I truly and earnestly mean. I'm not one to lie but I'm also not one to say no for better or for worse. It's something I've struggled with for years, but more now than ever do I really feel the pain of constantly having to babysit grown men who need me to tell them how to function or make something that doesn't snap in half at the faintest touch. I'm 20, turning 21, with my whole life ahead of me still. I've spent the past 6 or so years just slaving away shoring up the weight of the world and I've nothing to really show for it. I got a group of people around me, sure, but they're really only there cuz I'm really useful and know how to make shit that keeps them around. Moment that goes away that shit's gonna empty out faster than Wittenoom. Between my standing as resident Everything Man and my IRL situation having to carry my little brother out of flunking outta college, it's hard to constantly be what everyone wants me to be. 

I've talked a lot about how I've wanted some kind of way to remedy this. Between diatribes regarding getting a lobotomy or calling it quits, part of me always wishes I could dumb myself down and really relax for once in my damn life without something going wrong. Then one day, it happened. A vial of nu-metal energy spilled into a vat of Frost Man from Mega Man 8, and amidst the smoke, the greatest meathead of all time was born...

Enter... BIG THREAT!!!

Big Threat became an alias that I put on one day and immediately fell in love with. I put on the tag, act like a meathead and speak in a mix between Team Fortress 2's Heavy and the aforementioned Frost Man from Mega Man 8. I don't take questions seriously, I don't start shit, I don't worry about how I'm gonna stop someone from shitting themselves. Big Threat is everything I ever wanted — a retreat. Nobody ever actually argues with Big Threat because you sound like an idiot getting mad at a guy named Big Threat. Nobody ever asks Big Threat for feedback because whatever criticism is there is caked in layers of little "babys" (shoutout GYBE) and a type of broken English so unintelligible to the point where you're the idiot expecting anything outta Big Threat as opposed to Big Threat himself. Best part is? I can put up Big Threat whenever I want. Some psycho dms me and won't get off my ass? Big Threat! I join a pub server and people are crying about whatever class kills them? Big Threat! I actually need to take something serious as it concerns me on a personal level? Big Threa... well, ok I have to take that stuff seriously. Either way though, I'm so glad I came up with this solution for myself. I don't sacrifice a thing and I get to finally be the meathead I was always meant to be. The only thing is, I've been doing this Big Threat bit for so long now (a few weeks or so) to the point where my inner voice starts to talk like Big Threat. It's nothing major though ergo why I don't consider it a sacrifice, as it's just sooooo nice that I can return to after a long day of being Everything Man. I feel like a new man after having this alias cuz it means I get to blow off steam as I see fit and nobody can stop me. Big Threat fucks and I do not plan on stopping any time at all. Or maybe it'll just be a seasonal thing. Fall and Winter keep me interested enough to the point where I'm going out and about on my own volition without melting to death, so we'll see. Big Threat out!!!! ✌️