ranting

i want to talk. i want to rant, and get all my feeling outs, shit like that. but i cant. people will look at me like im some crazy fuck. my new meds suck, they never stabalized my thoughts ; i just dont want to talk as much. its not like i have the energy to talk, anyway.

i change myself for people to like me, but they still dont. i just wish it was me and zy forever in our space. forever together, hopefully. he kissed me on my forehead, and it scared me a little. what if it doesnt go right like last time? we lasted like -- 5 months, almost 6, but i thought we would last years. i just think to far ahead of myself, or i overthink everything, and sometimes i dont think at all.