I’m so lost

I turn 18 in 3 days and I’m scared.

First of all a problem I’ve always had is friends. Like those ‘I’m not my best friend’s best friend’ and ‘last choice’ things. But anytime I DO get the opportunity be social and in a friend group, I can’t. I either feel real out of place, awkward, say something that ruins it, or just wanna go home.

Secondly, I don’t have a damn clue about what u wanna do when I graduate. I’ve been a sheltered child my whole life and all I’ve known was school, so my answer to those ‘what do you wanna be when you grow up’ questions was always a teacher. 

It’s so hard to decide what I gotta do for the rest of my life. Nothing I’m interested in would enable be to hold my head above water in this economy either.

I don’t know what to do gang.