tyler

Let this moment last a minute longer. don't leave me feeling this somber. my mind starts to ponder, all the unrequited thoughts. a motion picture, for the lovers and the lovelorn knots, tied in my heart. sighed in the dark. I cannot lie, your words are dry, dull and demeaning but yet something still has me feeling a certain way, it passes by everyday. a year to know you, a simple rush of my heartbeat while listening to Lana Del Rey. I'd hoped you'd stay. let me cry and go away, it's not limerance it's heartbreak. I don't know how much I can take, I look at you and it turns to waste. my heart starts to pace just looking at your face, just in case our love just turns into hate. what I once thought was fate, our eyes still interlock. it's a ticking clock in my mind. I can't ignore you it happens all the time. I cannot remind myself of the memories that fade. your blank stare cuts deeper than a blade. but does it mean a thing? to wonder, to love, to feel. does it mean it's real? I try to peel back the layers of deceit, but you always seem to leave me in the state of defeat. I can hear your voice wander across the room, steal your fleeting, disappearing words and repeat them in my head. comprehend the question, am I better off dead? would it have been better if it was another girl instead? you were so excited until you realized it was me. it's such a shame, I'm not who you want me to be. I thought there was something, looking back I know it was nothing. nothing can pass as everything, if the moment lasts. it will leave you crying, dying at that. what a boy, to make you realize the past. what a boy to make you feel like you were worthless, just by a distorted truth, manipulated by your own naivety. what you thought you knew. it will change everything, flip your whole world apart. it will set you back, back to the start. a broken heart, is never truly healed when it is only concealed. you never cared how I feeled. i refuse to make another excuse for your abuse. leave me hanging on the edge waiting, leaning to my own death. I won't let you forget me, with all that I had within me. every breath, every hour, every minute ran sour. I hate the power you hold over me, it drives me crazy. but it doesn't phase me, I won't let myself leave feeling hazy. I cannot please you. you used to tease me, like I didn't have a mind of my own. you used to smile, it never meant that much to you. but the thoughts compile, they made me think a certain way. the heart of devotion, red-handed poetry in motion. you reignite my dreams, every time it seems I have forgotten. but I have not, I have not sought in the search for you. you leave me rotten. I wouldn't cry if I had gotten what I deserved. I would pray at church if you were the gods above, still you wouldn't answer and maybe that would give me faith in you, to believe you were telling the truth.