WB ME V2.0

Ok.. it's been a year since I last used this platform; I'm bad at commitment ok! Nevertheless, very happy to be back. I do think this platform is exactly what I need. Having taken a few years off of TikTok (unbearable hellhole) and cyclically forcing myself on and off Twitter and Instagram, Tumblr has always been my safe haven. Unfortunately and predictably, Tumblr is exactly like other platforms, a constant stream of suggested posts and feeds, people you don't know and people I don't like. Glad to be on a platform that is entirely against that notion and wants to show it's users entries in order to socialise, instead of meaningless, fleeting interactions. I'll miss my long term Twitter friends, the familiar pfps and display names I've grown so comfortable seeing, but I'll make new friends.

I spend the vast majority of my time writing, yet I'm having so much trouble composing this entry. I choose to blame it on my sleep deprivation.. 

I had to stay awake to finally call my doctors back (after screening their calls for a month and a half, I actually owe it to myself to make an in person appointment *and attend it*) but now I'm exhausted, I'm uncomfortable with the heat of my laptop on my body, and I want my girlfriend to come home from her holiday in Wales to be with ME. One of my worst flaws is getting so overwhelmed that I just get accustomed to neglecting my needs and that in turn makes me more uncomfortable and emotions harder to regulate! AAAGGHGFGHG 

Wanted to write more, a complete status update for the past few weeks (or at least, few days, since so much has happened) but I'll leave it here.. I'll actively decide not to disregard my extreme discomfort and write another entry later tonight..  It's 13:55 and I've been awake for 19 hours. Time to turn the blue light screen off and rest. Admittedly, my least favourite part of the day but it's okay.. rest is a necessity and that's something I'm still learning.  

Goodnight (Good evening)

April Gonk