LIFE CODE XOXO: RANT 12

Another midnight rant guys. and yes its about love, so get used to it.

I don't know why I didn't say somethin to him earlier in the year. I've liked my friend Josiah for a long time/since I first met him, and I was convincing myself that I don't like him and that I'm just being delusional. Well, turns out I actually did, and my friends called me crazy and laughed in my face when I told them it was him;

"Oh my God, you know he has a GF right?" 

Yes, I do know. he tells me everything and I listen to him, hoping everytime he speaks it isn't about his pretty girlfriend. I've noticed all the girls he's dated look the same/have similar personality traits. 

And I am nothing like them.

 How unfortunate.

I think I didn't have a CRUSH on him, I just had a major soft spot for him. Oh well, school year is over, we grow and move on.

But something about him makes me jealous of all of his other ex girlfriends. I ain't finna cheat on you or play you or ghost you.

I stopped thinking about him, and I think I'm fine whenever he's not around. People say Josiah and I would look cute together, but my insecurities kind of just block that vision. I was too scared to tell him Ive had a soft spot for him since I first met him because his friends were near him.

So, my friends made me promise Id "confess" on the first day of senior year. But I dont really like him like that, I just think he's a sweet guy, 

The kind of guy I've been waiting for.

xoxo,

Ameii