I worry about my friends fr :/

So... I'm really into police footage videos and analysis (think the video of "what pretending to be crazy looks like") and just some time ago I watched one about this idiots d3von and 4lec that sh00t up a school and I was... Concerned non the less

I have a friend group of about 7 friends, out of those 7 friends the one I talk the most with we'll call T for easy understanding.

While watching this case and video footage I just... I couldn't shake my mind off of the fact that 4lec and T are similar to a point where is almost eerie. Both are trans, both have had their fair share of problems with drug use (although I believe T has never gone farther than eating some brownies but he does smoke on the regular now) and the one that I found the most worrisome (tho I don't know if that's the right word for what I'm feeling) is the temperament and way of thinking.

See, one thing I LOVE like kind of genuinely love about T is his resolution and firmness when it comes to his values, they might not always be in tune with mine but he does defend them quite veraciously, something I have yet to learn, I'm pretty easy to manipulate ngl. That said I can attest that that resolution can go into stubbornness pretty quickly.

Like I said he has really... Interesting takes on some things and I have realized that tho he will consider your input he most likely will not change his mind. This I could just look past but what I can't look past is (ironically) his past

He's told me before some "crazy" stuff (tho it might be mild for some of you) and by that I mean stories about his very pervasive anger issues. I've never seen them first hand at their full extent but I can see snippets thru the cracks when he can't fully control himself (he does try). Things like having to hit himself head (or face) first into walls to calm himself, using books when there's no walls he can crash out at, seeing a hole in his bedframe and him telling me he did it in a fit of anger by punching the thing, and then there's that time he told me the story of how he almost hit a guy with a bat in the head and missed him by merely centimeters. Shit is wild.

So again, I'm watching this video and whenever I see 4lec I see some of T in him. The mannerisms, the matter of fact way of speaking, the thoughts of the brain taking over their behavior, the resolution of "this is what was going to happen, this is what happened" and it honestly kind of shook me, it worries me that my friend (who's also lived very fucked up things and has some of that "I'm worthless" kind of discourse in his head) whit the wrong kind of push could become well... That.

This is not to say that I see red flags that he will absolutely without a shadow of a doubt make something similar happen, on one side there's his way of thinking and his possibilities (since he's kinda loaded, at least top three of people with most money in our friend group and I can see him obtaining a gun kind of easily) but on the other side there's the fact that he's really trying, that he has gotten better with those anger issues, that he has something going on for him and is a pretty talented and hardworking person, that he does look forward.

It's not that I'm scared that it will happen, I kind of don't think it will, it most likely disturbed me how much of my friend I saw in this crazy person and how one bad route and maybe us (the friend group) not being there for him could've... Changed his life, maybe even history.

I worry about my friends, in the sense that I love them so much is just difficult to accept that there's bad in them too. 

Maybe I just need some sleep (-_-)