I’ve finally been taught which battles to fight and which not to.

Heyyyy soo…. I jnfriended that cjnt ambrose that account. I’m not going to check his account, I’m just going to let it go. Seeing the way Aj just let it go, and didn’t bat an eye at Ambrose showed me that I could too— and I should. I will. I don’t want to be petty again. My friends say it’s what I’m known for or at least used to be known for, and only recently a month back it hit me that it’s a shitty thing to be. I hate that I’m 15 and just learning these things but it’s better to learn them now than never. I’m going to make sure this isn’t like other relationships (being romantic or platonic) that have fallen out with me. Where I get extremely paranoid and convince myself everyone is shit talking me. If they are, so be it. I can not stop them. I understand this now and I wish I had before in that debate trip of mine. Greening out in a hotel in a city you’ve never been in makes you really think. And I’m just now remembering what I said thought of that while ago. I wish I could redo it all. That month of October. And the month before and after. Maybe redo all of 2024 and teach myself when to let go, which battles to fight, and just yk accept fate? I denied my reality a lot that year. I wish I hadn’t. I think I would have learned a lot more. I’m trying to not be so codependent on this dude like I was last time. Whenever I was with my ex I was so paranoid constantly that he hated me or wasn’t talking to me because he was annoyed. I’d get like this over not talking for an hour (????). I don’t know I was a weird little teenager. This whole Ambrose situation has caused me to look back a lot and make me realize how I process things more and more. I’ve already known all of what I’ve said. I’ve know for a while. It’s just nice to scream it into an empty forest every once in a while