pruning and preservation

fruit for thought:

in john 5, when that infirmity-stricken man said, “i have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred. while i’m trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me,” - when i first read it, i couldn’t quite put my finger on why that verse felt like there was a deeper metaphor in it. but it hit my spirit so hard that my discernment started picking up on something bigger beneath the surface.

when i researched later on - of course, it made sense. it wasn’t just a story anymore; it was a mirror.

how many of us are still waiting on swimming pools when living water is lapping right in front of us? how many of us are waiting to smell the roses, while the green pastures from psalms twenty-three are already standing outside our front doors? how many are that man - forgotten, passed over, bitter, stuck in the cycle of “maybe next time”? or “but it’s been too long”? or worse - how many of us act like the pharisees sometimes? the same pharisees Jesus rebuked in matthew 12:38–39? thinking that avoiding failure equals favor. like grace is earned by perfection.

we watch others wait for healing and assume our discipline equals God’s approval. no sex outside marriage, no lying, no cussing - doing those things shows endurance, which is beautiful, but it’s not elevation. it’s crawling through the fire, not standing on the mountain. just because i didn’t fall doesn’t mean i’m ready - or more ready than him or her.

just because i avoided sin doesn’t mean i understand sanctification. and God’s been making that clear to me lately - He’s not as impressed by my spiritual résumé. all He wants is me as i am (john 6:37).

the hardest thing i’ve learned this season is that, whether i like it or not, i can’t talk my way out of pruning. i can’t talk my way out of preparation. i can’t quote enough scripture to bypass the waiting room. and i definitely can’t fast my way into abundance like it’s some prize to be unlocked.

we’re the ones who flinch at peace and think joy is suspicious. the ones who mistake rest for punishment.

“so then, those who suffer because it is God’s will for them should, by their good actions, trust themselves completely to their Creator, who always keeps His promise.” - 1 peter 4:19 (gnt)

many of us expect preparation to always end in something tangible - a new car, a job, a paycheck. but i get it .. after all those tears, i feel like i deserve a bugatti too.

but sometimes, the abundance God is preparing us for is mental, emotional, spiritual. it’s a kind of faith you only understand when you see the fruit later. if God wants you to smell the roses, you will. even if you’re allergic. even if you’d rather keep running. He’ll break your stride if that’s what it takes to get you to look up.

and sometimes, that abundance has to come through a wilderness season - confusing, isolating, but completely necessary.

as hard as it is, we have to understand: in order to grow, we have to persevere. even Jesus wandered in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights - hungry, tempted, tired, and weak. but He was led there by the Holy Spirit (matthew 4:1 gnt). “count it all joy, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” - james 1:2–3

pruning and preparation aren’t just random struggles or punishment - they’re part of God’s Spirit-led plan. He’s shaping us. teaching us to depend on Him fully. strengthening the gifts He placed in us. the wilderness feels lonely, but it’s where God whispers the loudest. it’s where faith grows roots, even when the surface looks dry.

so when the pruning hurts and the waiting feels endless, remember: the same Spirit that led Jesus is guiding you. it’s not about fighting or running - it’s about trusting and resting in His timing, knowing He’s doing a work in you that no one else can.

and when you feel like you’re not enough - know this: His grace covers your waiting, your stumbling, and your moments of doubt.

jackie hill perry once said something that still makes me cackle. i’m paraphrasing because i forgot her exact words, but it was along the lines of, “if God wants you married, you could be looking busted and crusty, at 6:45 a.m. in an ihop parking lot, bonnet on, no bra, and you’ll still meet your husband.” and she’s right.

because if it’s time, it’s time.

no amount of striving can unlock what’s already scheduled. and no amount of delay can cancel what God’s already authored.

He’s not waiting for me to look presentable. He’s waiting for my yes - yes that doesn’t always have to be loud. He’s not waiting for me to have a five-step plan for my ministry or a trauma-free testimony. He’ll use me while i’m still bleeding. He’ll call me while i’m still limping. if He wants me to move when i’m still in love with where i am? i’ll move. if He wants to send me while i’m still in therapy for church hurt? i’ll be sent. because he doesn’t need my healed self - He needs my obedient one. the polished version of me is just a bonus. the yes and its surrender is the currency.

may mercy, peace, and love be yours in full measure - jude 1:2.