going craycray!!! >_<

genuinely going insane, no matter what i do its never enough, no matter how many times i pray its never enough, ill always be the one feeling guilty, feeling shitty of myself everyday, i cant help myself anymore, distractions arent working, the only thing keeping me alive is the internet, i cant bear this struggle anymore no matter how many times i do it it will never get better, i'll never get better ill never be normal ever again, i hate being monitored, why do they even need to? is it because they dont trust me? i hate my family, i hate i hate i hate them.