Gifted kid burnout

If you've clicked on this blog, I want you to know that this is a safe space for everyone. You can rant all you want and let everything out, because, as the title says, it's ok not to be ok. 

As a burnt out gifted kid myself, I've really been struggling with my mom. She is a major workaholic and thinks that I should be one too. She has drilled into my brain that if I don't get anything above a 95 it's not good, and before I only tried hard for her and that was that. But now, it's been drilled into my brain so much that I feel like if I get a bad grade I'm this terrible, disgusting human being. It's gotten so bad that I started self harming when I make a mistake because I believe that I deserve it as a punishment.

My mother has gotten less strict with her expectations for grades, but, of course, I have not. Instead, she is now limiting my free time. Whenever she sees that I'm doing something that's not "educational", she makes me feel so bad about it, and now it's starting to rub off on me like the grades. I am no longer allowed to go on sleepovers and I'm only aloud to hang out with friends for 3 hours maximum. It's really taken a toll on my mental health because she judges every single thing I do and then asks why I'm in my room so much

So, for those of you who are in a similar situation, I just want to say that I am so, so, proud of you. And you might think "oh, well how can she be proud of me? Sho doesn't even know me!" Well, I do know that you are here. Right now. And you are working so hard to make people proud and that's not even what I'm proud of you for. I'm proud of you for getting through this day and coming here. I'm proud of you for trying, not succeeding. I'm proud of you for living on this shitty earth and continuing to do so. 

So, if you ever need to vent, please reach out. I'm here for you. 💜

Sincerely, 

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Julia