Who wins?

I looked up and down my grade sheet, staring at the "A"s and "B"s all over it.

Meanwhile, the girl next to me got all "C"s and "D"s. I would've hated to be in her position. But she's happy about her grade, because she passed and now has no more to worry about. At least in her eyes.

I wonder. Am I the winner here, or is she?

For I have gotten a better grade. A better chance in getting into college, getting a job and living comfortably, according to the rules of the world. But I also am unsatisfied. I'll never be satisfied. I'll never be good enough for myself. I will continue to press myself to always be better, until eventually it consumes me.

For she might not have the chance of becoming a successful scientist, or a company owner. But she will be happier. She will find joy in the small accomplishments and build a simpler life. The life we're intended to have. She will never have to worry about being more than best, she will never stress about being a child prodigy, a star who fades into forgetfulness with time.

She won. I am chasing an impossible dream, or might I say, nightmare.

She is smarter than me, because she can face reality; 'good enough' does not exist.