Feelings are a Bitch

For the first time ever I went to sleep excited to wake up, after living my whole life dreading tomorrow. Only to once again lay tonight, praying I'd die in my sleep.

Just when I started imagining the silliest of things, a future where I'd actually exist. Hand in hand with someone I love. Too bad for me I guess haha. 

Going from love bombing and constant ily's to zero romantic feelings in the span of a day is a new record. Didn't think I could feel so hideous and be so repulsive to where someone can lose feelings that fast.