Escaping Technology, Part II

Four months ago, I made a blog post about my desire to escape the smart phone norm. I did, for a little. I failed. Why?

I still hate smart phones, let's start with that real quick. But what is the alternative? Dumb phones are equally as worthless, I've found. Most flip phones are budget phones, and therefore don't have very good processing power. It's not about what apps I want it to run, it's about the fact that even just opening the messaging app causes me issues. That's bad.

Here's a me problem to throw in there. I'm not much of a social person. I don't text much, I don't call much. It's just how I've always been. Why is that important? Well, what else is a phone used for?

So, lately I've been thinking about what it would be like to simply not have a phone at all. To leave it at home. I've done it a couple times, actually. On accident of course. The feeling? Not one of panic or fear or boredom. It was kind of nice, actually.

Maybe its a matter of simply never experiencing it. Maybe I don't understand the convenience because I didn't live the life before it existed. But honestly? The idea of having a phone at work or just out on the street, calling somebody on a pay phone if I needed to get in touch with them. That's all I want.

Of course, it's all a non issue. Payphones don't exist anymore and most places don't let you use their phone for casual use. Work business only! Even if I wanted to go without my phone, there is the other issue of it's use outside of entertainment. Transferring money in my bank account is the biggest thing that comes to mind. Of course, that might be an issue for my finance more than anything.

So, what if I went without my phone when I left the apartment? I think I would feel fine, being out of touch. I'm out of touch anyway. But I also don't leave the house very much. Maybe I would if I wasn't so glued to my computer. Which is actually a much bigger problem than my phone. 

My school? Computer based. My hobbies? Computer based. My friends? Computer based. What then? Even if I threw my phone in a lake, I wouldn't be any less attached to the internet.

I love the idea of getting away from it all. I really do. I could read a book, I could go thrifting, I could take photos, I could buy an mp3 player. But I don't think many people like the idea of being friends with a person who is so out of touch. I'm not out of my head, I'm not lost in something non-existent. I'm simply lost in this idea so far gone for many people my age. How can I connect to somebody when I can't even give them a phone number to call me by? Assuming I could ever make friends out in the world (#relatable!)

But I think a much bigger problem is the computer. Unlike my phone, it's a place that I can leave, which is good. The problem is I never leave it. It's my favorite thing to do. And maybe I should just accept that, but it's not what I want to stand for. It's simply what I'm comfortable with.

I've thought about replacing my phone with a little notebook. But then again, what would I use it for? If I'm honest, I can barely tell you what I use my phone for. I know I text and call, I check the calendar for the date, I look through my bank account and email, sometimes. But do I put dates down on my calendar? Do I keep a todo list? Do I write down notes, do I doodle? No, not really. Honestly, it might just be my $1,000 Tik Tok device (which, yes, I know I should delete. But my streaks !!!!)

I'm just sort of writing down what comes to mind, so excuse the messy post. The problem is, when I try to justify and explain the things I feel, it's hard to think of anything at all. How do you justify not using this thing that everybody has? Is it fair to even feel that way? How do I justify my phone's purpose in my life? What is it there for? If I already hardly use it, why get rid of it? Why can't I just delete all my entertainments and leave it at that? I don't know. It's a whole back and forth from the rational part of my brain and the part of my brain that wants to exist like this. But it's not possible. Not anymore. 

And that's not fair, is it? Even as computers and online processes come into existence, it is still possible to print something out and give it to somebody in a store or office somewhere. Sure, people will still say, "You know you can do that online, right?" but it's still an option. Now, QR codes are a common way for stores to make things easier. Menus at restaurants, and even once a store asked me to make a members account using a QR code (Insane!). Like I said, payphones aren't a thing and phones inside stores and offices are for business only. People hardly take calls, anyways, so it wouldn't matter. Either way, the cards are stacked against you in this matter.

Anybody relate to these insane ramblings?