paper stars are therapeutic

why do i have to be commited if i want to just make paper stars all day? i think making paper stars at almost all hours of the day and limited contact with the outside world would fix me. it would only be agonizing for a while. my hands would hurt, but the paper stars would be worth it. id miss the people i love but id be learning to make paper stars. when i rejoin the world, the paper stars would be my crutch, not people. people generally suck. paper stars only suck if i make them suck, and i'd make so many, some would have to be good. and they'd be different colors.

if i were commited, id have a gang id go on the cigarette breaks with. we wouldn't smoke, though. i'd be like martha stewart when she was in prison, i'd have a little garden for when i go on the breaks. i hope that's allowed.

i wish i didn't have to be a danger to myself or society to get this for at least a week. i don't want to be forced to take meds or have my clothes taken away or be watched and documented and questioned. i don't want any of that. i mostly just want the paper stars. 

i think we should make paper stars together. in silence, with music, with a movie playing, while yapping. id make paper stars with a stranger. we just make paper stars with whatever going on in the background, or nothing going on in the background. i'll bring really really nice paper made for paper stars. after we can pick our favorites and hang them everywhere.